At What point does it become a cause for alarm?

[funfunctional]

My BPD sister went into one of her crazy modes last night. 2:00am.   She got on Facebook and friend requested all the close people in my life  - she is trying to poke at me.  I had my children,  my husband,  my X husband and HIS wife all tell me she put in a friend request to them.  Now understand she defriended my children and husband July 2014 during a rage.   There is absolutely no reason for her to friend request my x husband and his wife except to be destructive & cause issue.   We are all taking block action in Facebook.

She sent a birthday message to my husband as well  I have had a knot in my stomach all day because the point was to upset me and poke at me and I do feel threatened.   She is intentionally stepping on the people in MY life.    My kids were disturbed and uncomfortable.   That is what upset me the most.   The fact she is trying to interfere with my relationship with my x husband and his wife bothers me too.

This woman is toxic.     What would you do?

[Turkish]

That sounds unnerving!

Blocking works (I did to my Ex and mother of our children). You've learned that it's necessary to shut down that channel of contact. It sounds that while everyone seems upset, that you all learned a lesson, and that she won't stop.

[funfunctional]

Thanks turkish,

I guess although I think I have it all figured out and being the "observer" and not the participant that is easier said than done.   Many people here have BPD people living in the same house as them.   I am lucky it is my sister and she lives quite a distance from me and I can do the NC.   

But being the Observer is an ideal for me that I aim for but clearly I became a somewhat participant yesterday.   However,  I did not cave to making contact with her.    That is what she is trying to arrouse with me.  I am sorry she can't figure out HOW to say I am sorry to me and she thinks I am the wrong doer.   I grew tired of saying I am sorry to someone whose behavior is way off.   

It was unnerving yesterday but once again I am trying to regain my own inner balance and peace as that was taken from me yesterday.

Thank you!

[Linda Maria]

Hi funfunctional!  Sorry to hear about what your sis did - it is the sort of thing that would really freak me out - makes you feel unsafe in your own home - truly horrible.  My situation is not so extreme - I am not on Facebook, and as far as I know neither is uBPDsis.   Last year when things were really bad, I kept hearing these mad stories being told about me to mutual friends.  It was when she started lying about my kids, and trying to use them to bait me, and then later, telling lies about my late Mum's "alleged" wishes that I was supposedly violating - that's when the line was really crossed for me, and I went NC as far as was practicably possible. If this was anyone other than a relative, you wouldn't think twice about cutting off contact, it is completely unacceptable behaviour, and dragging people's kids into things is so low.  So my advice would be to stay NC as far as possible, and try to live your life in peace.  You deserve nothing less.  Best wishes.

[funfunctional]

 

Thank you Linda Marie.    That is so true about if this wasn't a relative we wouldn't think twice about cutting contact.   Family doesn't give the right to abuse.

I am upset.  Trying not to be.  But she has successfully influenced my emotions in a negative way and I am trying to re-coup and disconnect myself from the assault.

Thank you again!   I need the kind words and I think I sound strong and sometimes like I have it all figured out but I really don't.   I am trying to be strong and tough and get thru all this cause it is so hard.

((hugs))

[Kwamina]

Hi funfunctional

I am upset.  Trying not to be.  But she has successfully influenced my emotions in a negative way and I am trying to re-coup and disconnect myself from the assault.

Thank you again!  

What your sister did is something that would infuriate and frustrate many of us (me included!) so I understand why you've had such a strong emotional reaction to this. My initial advice would be to try to ignore her and not contact her to express how you feel about what she did. However since she is also trying to involve your kids here, that is something I would keep closely monitoring. If it were only about her reaching out to adults it would be different but because she also targeted your kids I personally think this might require a firm response if she were to continue this behavior by contacting your kids through fb or in another way.

I think I sound strong and sometimes like I have it all figured out but I really don't.   I am trying to be strong and tough and get thru all this cause it is so hard.

Join the club!  We are all on here just trying to figure this all out. It definitely ain't easy, especially after incidents like this. These moments are times that we really need to apply the new skills we've learned here and use this message board to get support from others if needed. You could say that these incidents are our tests or exams in which we can show how far we've come through the years  Take care

[funfunctional]

Thank you Kwamini

Yes.   She needs to leave my kids alone.  Stay away from them.

I will have to monitor this situation.   There are people that are "ill" and are more likely to hurt themselves.  My BPD sister is malicious.

:'(