Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
August 03, 2021, 02:57:59 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Harri, Once Removed
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, I Am Redeemed, Mutt, Turkish
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Experts share their discoveries [video]
99
Could it be BPD
BPDFamily.com Production
Listening to shame
Brené Brown, PhD
What is BPD?
Blasé Aguirre, MD
What BPD recovery looks like
Documentary
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: I'm a Adult Child of an Alcoholic  (Read 419 times)
neverloveagain
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 227



« on: March 19, 2016, 03:17:46 AM »

Has anyone else here on there road to recovery found out they are suffering from ACoA. My ex ripped some scabs off my inner child ones I never realised I had until now. If you do suffer what tools for ACoA have helped you?.
Logged
JerryRG
********
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1832


« Reply #1 on: March 19, 2016, 08:32:17 AM »

I was involved in ACOA for a while early on and started Alanon because of my exgf drug addiction then got bumped over into AA, I will do anything to get well. Stinks that I need any of them but they all help us so I'm in for life, literally. Would not be able to deal with all I've been through the last 4 years and now I'm not just surviving I'm improving and actually happy, hopeful and growing up.

Logged
Suzn
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 3959



« Reply #2 on: March 19, 2016, 11:35:14 PM »

Neverloveagain I didn't have an alcoholic parent however I did have an alcoholic uncle who was my main abuser so I can relate. The tools that have helped me the most have been practicing DBT coping techniques. This is a helpful list www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/connecting_skills.html

These coping skills work hand in hand with AA too JerryRG.

Logged

“Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.” ~Jacob M. Braude
confusedandangry
**
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 53


« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2016, 09:27:21 AM »

Question?  So you think that children of alcoholic parents are more likely to be in a relationship with someone who has BPD?  Asking because I am a child of an abusive alcoholic father and a neglectful mother when I was younger.  Sometimes I wonder if my mom has BPD... .
Logged
MapleBob
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 724



« Reply #4 on: March 20, 2016, 09:49:03 AM »

My uBPDex (actually, BOTH of them) were ACoA's. It seems to be equally likely that an ACoA becomes a codependent (non) OR suffers from personality/mood disorders.

That's probably a huge generalization, but I've seen it myself.
Logged
WoundedBibi
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 860


« Reply #5 on: March 20, 2016, 10:31:14 AM »

My parents hardly touched the stuff so I'm not speaking from my own personal experience but having met a lot of different people with issues, I do think being the child of an alcoholic increases the chance of becoming a codependent or having mood disorders (sometimes ending up in using alcohol or other substances themselves).

And being a codependent or having mood disorders (or both) IMO increases your chances of ending up in an abusive relationship significantly.
Logged
Notwendy
********
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 7268



« Reply #6 on: March 20, 2016, 10:50:02 AM »

An alcoholic ( or addict ) is often paired with a co-dependent. Also, some people with BPD also struggle with addictions. In my area, the ACOA group includes children from homes with dysfunction. The focus of the group is healing childhood wounds and looking at the family patterns that were passed on from generation to generation. Since there are a lot of overlapping issues in families with a pw BPD and families with alcoholics, the groups can be helpful to both situations.

Most helpful to me? Going through the steps with a sponsor helped me to get into the issues. Groups are helpful too, but I think a sponsor really helps to do the personal work involved.
Logged
MapleBob
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 724



« Reply #7 on: March 20, 2016, 11:33:58 AM »

The focus of the group is healing childhood wounds and looking at the family patterns that were passed on from generation to generation. Since there are a lot of overlapping issues in families with a pw BPD and families with alcoholics, the groups can be helpful to both situations.

That's basically the overlap in *everyone's* issues, codependents, nons, cluster-B's, everybody. Unless you're one of the singularly rare people who grew up in a 100% healthy home, you basically at some point have to do this work.

Most helpful to me? Going through the steps with a sponsor helped me to get into the issues. Groups are helpful too, but I think a sponsor really helps to do the personal work involved.

I did group therapy, and having a variety of outside perspectives is GREAT for personal accountability and gauging what are reasonable expectations to have for oneself in these tough situations. I never did 12-Step, but I know a lot of people who did/do, and I've seen it really transform people for the better.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2021?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2021 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
Andi1956
Anondad
Cnvi
doghouse
drained1996
EyesUp
Harri
JD2028
lovenature
Mac5
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
old97
P.F.Change
Skip
snowglobe
Swimmy55
Teno
Turkish
wendydarling

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!