Confused about object constancy

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Hi everyone  

Wow!  It has been such an emotional roller coaster ride for me this week.  Thanks so much to the wonderful people who commented on my post earlier this week.  The support I have received on this forum has made such a difference.  So thank you

Now to the latest... .

I was at my (trying to be ex) friends work area today - knowing she wasn't in the office - I looked at her desk, and noticed a few things.  She has only been back at work this week after being on leave for a couple of weeks.  The photo she had of her family has now been taken down.  Even though she has not made contact with me in a week (thankfully) and is spending all of her time with her shiny new toy at work, everything I have given her over the years is still there, including the personal letter I gave her for her birthday! *embarrassing*

The hand cream I gave her was moved closer to her keyboard from the shelf it was on before she went on leave.  Not only that, but the paper bag it came in has been placed on her shelf.

Strangest of all... .the bow I put on the birthday gift I gave her earlier this year has now appeared on her desk!

I'm quite confused as I was sure she had moved on to the shiny new toy, and I was off the hook, especially after I deleted her from Facebook.  There is absolutely nothing on her desk to represent him at all.  Instead, she has added another couple of things to her desk that I have given her.

I assume I am being painted black at the moment, but why the heck has she added things I have given her?  So confused

This BPD ordeal is the most confusing thing I have ever experienced

[Hadlee]

Hi everyone  

Wow!  It has been such an emotional roller coaster ride for me this week.  Thanks so much to the wonderful people who commented on my post earlier this week.  The support I have received on this forum has made such a difference.  So thank you

Now to the latest... .

I was at my (trying to be ex) friends work area today - knowing she wasn't in the office - I looked at her desk, and noticed a few things.  She has only been back at work this week after being on leave for a couple of weeks.  The photo she had of her family has now been taken down.  Even though she has not made contact with me in a week (thankfully) and is spending all of her time with her shiny new toy at work, everything I have given her over the years is still there, including the personal letter I gave her for her birthday! *embarrassing*

The hand cream I gave her was moved closer to her keyboard from the shelf it was on before she went on leave.  Not only that, but the paper bag it came in has been placed on her shelf.

Strangest of all... .the bow I put on the birthday gift I gave her earlier this year has now appeared on her desk!

I'm quite confused as I was sure she had moved on to the shiny new toy, and I was off the hook, especially after I deleted her from Facebook.  There is absolutely nothing on her desk to represent him at all.  Instead, she has added another couple of things to her desk that I have given her.

I assume I am being painted black at the moment, but why the heck has she added things I have given her?  So confused

This BPD ordeal is the most confusing thing I have ever experienced

[SlyQQ]

BPDs often like that there exs are trashed ( an ego trip thing plus they always like to think IF they wanted they can go back ) there is a good chance the stuff disapeared aas soon as you left its a game.play at your peril

[Hadlee]

She wasn't in the office today, so had no idea I was there.  I only go there when I know she isn't around and I have never noticed anything relating to me being removed at all    

[SlyQQ]

sorry i am naturally susspicous i know they are quite capable of expecting you to be somewhere anleave stuff out to bait you they always want a back up you may be an attractive alternative still especially after a fight they are very good at guessing what someone they know will do

[Hadlee]

sorry i am naturally susspicous i know they are quite capable of expecting you to

be somewhere anleave stuff out to bait you they always want a back up you

may be an attractive alternative still especially after a fight they are very good at guessing what someone they know will do

Oh I am starting to become suspicious   I didn't think she has played or would play games, but I'm starting to think otherwise now.

Thanks for the heads up.  I'll be sure to keep my guard up! 

[Skip]

I'd be really careful not to read anything into these events.

When we cut off communication (or are cut of), we can start reading into everything.  It can make us crazy... ."why was the bag moved".

[SlyQQ]

Couldnt agree more with skip its a game you play at your peril if there is nothing to it walk away if she is playing games run away

[peiper]

Hi everyone  

Wow!  It has been such an emotional roller coaster ride for me this week.  Thanks so much to the wonderful people who commented on my post earlier this week.  The support I have received on this forum has made such a difference.  So thank you

Now to the latest... .

I was at my (trying to be ex) friends work area today - knowing she wasn't in the office - I looked at her desk, and noticed a few things.  She has only been back at work this week after being on leave for a couple of weeks.  The photo she had of her family has now been taken down.  Even though she has not made contact with me in a week (thankfully) and is spending all of her time with her shiny new toy at work, everything I have given her over the years is still there, including the personal letter I gave her for her birthday! *embarrassing*

The hand cream I gave her was moved closer to her keyboard from the shelf it was on before she went on leave.  Not only that, but the paper bag it came in has been placed on her shelf.

Strangest of all... .the bow I put on the birthday gift I gave her earlier this year has now appeared on her desk!

I'm quite confused as I was sure she had moved on to the shiny new toy, and I was off the hook, especially after I deleted her from Facebook.  There is absolutely nothing on her desk to represent him at all.  Instead, she has added another couple of things to her desk that I have given her.

I assume I am being painted black at the moment, but why the heck has she added things I have given her?  So confused

This BPD ordeal is the most confusing thing I have ever experienced

I'd have to say that your probably thinking too much. We've all done it.

[Hadlee]

Thanks all   I know I am making myself crazy!  Ugh I wish my mind would shut down.  Totally feeing like a paranoid crazy person at the moment

Being in the same workplace as her is proving to be more difficult than I anticipated.

[Turkish]

Thanks all   I know I am making myself crazy!  Ugh I wish my mind would shut down.  Totally feeing like a paranoid crazy person at the moment

Being in the same workplace as her is proving to be more difficult than I anticipated.

I imagine that is very hard Hadlee!

Can you make a deal with yourself to not walk by or glance at her desk when you do? They say that it takes at least two weeks to form a new habit. Can you make that your new habit?

[Hadlee]

I imagine that is very hard Hadlee!

Can you make a deal with yourself to not walk by or glance at her desk when you do? They say that it takes at least two weeks to form a new habit. Can you make that your new habit? [/quote]
Thanks so much Turkish.  That is a great suggestion - I will definitely set that as a goal.  Need to do something to get out of this mess, not to mention help myself - only I can do that