Dumped her hard. Any experience on the aftermath?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Okay, my first post on another board was driven by PTS from waking up and realizing I had fallen... .again... .for a pwBPD.  Prior to her, I had spent 18 years married to a Queen/Witch.  This time I must have posted a sign that said "Waifs Welcome".  Thanks to this site, I am now well grounded again and much more educated.

So after 3.5 years of increasingly erratic behavior that was starting to be  deja vu all over again, I simply went NC on her and vaporized.  Yes, I could have/should have been softer, but after 18 years of "h3ll" I have an aversion to this behavior.  Whether reactionary NC is due to N tendencies or a hyper active defense reflex is a question I'll ask my T.  It certainly got the ex off my butt in the latter years, even if I was in the other room

Given what I know of her life history, I seriously doubt if she had never been hit by the NON dump truck before me.  A week after I went NC I was bombarded with "I am the victim and you failed!" texts.  My responses were courteous and very even tempered, which only frustrated her more.  Being dumped is never easy for anyone, even them I am sure, but I could tell this completely blew her mind that I was no longer painted in her corner.  Three days later the vile rage texts started.  Threats really.  I didn't reply.  Silence since then for twelve days.

Anyone know if them being dumped out of nowhere increases or decreases the likelihood of recycling?  Will she give up on my supply 

Retribution likelihood increased?

[PHDnon]

Okay, my first post on another board was driven by PTS from waking up and realizing I had fallen... .again... .for a pwBPD.  Prior to her, I had spent 18 years married to a Queen/Witch.  This time I must have posted a sign that said "Waifs Welcome".  Thanks to this site, I am now well grounded again and much more educated.

So after 3.5 years of increasingly erratic behavior that was starting to be  deja vu all over again, I simply went NC on her and vaporized.  Yes, I could have/should have been softer, but after 18 years of "h3ll" I have an aversion to this behavior.  Whether reactionary NC is due to N tendencies or a hyper active defense reflex is a question I'll ask my T.  It certainly got the ex off my butt in the latter years, even if I was in the other room

Given what I know of her life history, I seriously doubt if she had never been hit by the NON dump truck before me.  A week after I went NC I was bombarded with "I am the victim and you failed!" texts.  My responses were courteous and very even tempered, which only frustrated her more.  Being dumped is never easy for anyone, even them I am sure, but I could tell this completely blew her mind that I was no longer painted in her corner.  Three days later the vile rage texts started.  Threats really.  I didn't reply.  Silence since then for twelve days.

Anyone know if them being dumped out of nowhere increases or decreases the likelihood of recycling?  Will she give up on my supply 

Retribution likelihood increased?

[Skip]

I suspect he will stay away... .to painful to deal with.

[bungenstein]

I dealt with my ex in a very similar way, and I really got the impression it was too painful for her to ever come near me again.

[PHDnon]

I hope so.  I feel bad in one sense for dumping via NC silence.  I'm human.  She did leave me a gem text during the process.  "I'm a girl that can find another means of support."

Not someone to love me.  Not someone better than you. But another source of support

And I had never given her $ support .  Glad she clarified my role

[bungenstein]

I hope so.  I feel bad in one sense for dumping via NC silence.  I'm human.  She did leave me a gem text during the process.  "I'm a girl that can find another means of support."

Not someone to love me.  Not someone better than you. But another source of support

And I had never given her $ support .  Glad she clarified my role

Yeh I wouldn't feel bad about it, she would not hesitate in doing it to you.

[enlighten me]

I fell into the same trap. I went from a waif to a queen. I thought she was totally different to my ex but underneath they were the same person with the same dramas.

i split from my exgf so still trying to unravel her behaviour towards me. All I know is ive had a bit of a smear campaign and she is now seeing someone and had someone before him. Both are a lot older than her so looks as if she is trying to find her self a daddy figure.

[Splitblack4good]

I dumped my ex BPD gf and she went from rage to silence then to rage ! Even tho she got a new bf ! I think she was starting to devaluing me and the r/s at the time anyway plus we had been thru 4 recycles .but truth be told she would of ended after Xmas so she wouldn't be loanly and after spending most of my money ! Borderlines hate being dumped FACT it sort of throws them off balance and makes them panic ! And as we know they love control ! My ex is now trying so hard to rub my nose in it by plastering pics of her new bf on FB in an atempt to make me react I just tell her I'm glad your happy I'm pleased for you . Strangely tho she wants me to text her once a month over something completely stupid . All I get told now is I'm not the same person she met 5 years ago and she doesn't like who I am now ! Funny that Tho a week prior to the split she couldn't wait to marry me and was looking forward to Xmas and bla bla bla ! They are so twisted I got told do not contact me again ! Then got a call then I hate you ! Then please text me once a month ! They are erratic !

[Splitblack4good]

I hope so.  I feel bad in one sense for dumping via NC silence.  I'm human.  She did leave me a gem text during the process.  "I'm a girl that can find another means of support."

Not someone to love me.  Not someone better than you. But another source of support

And I had never given her $ support .  Glad she clarified my role

Yeh I wouldn't feel bad about it, she would not hesitate in doing it to you.

Man this is so bang on !