My dog

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

Last tuesday was really hell for me. In our relationship we had 2 dog, 1 I bought and 1 he gave to me for my birthday. When he left we discussed what to do with the dogs, and we decided that it would be better for the dogs to stay with me. Because he went back to his pearants, and they allready have 2 dogs and a very small home. But last tuesday he send me a message, he wanted his dog back, and if I didn't give him the dog, he would come by with his whole family and take it by force... .Lot of screaming and yelling from his side. Scared me to bits. I never saw him so angry towards me or violant.

So I asked my family what to do, and they said it would be better to hand over the dog, because causing a scene with police and such wouldn't do any good. Not for me and certainly not for my son.

So he came over and I had the dog in my arms, and wanted to cuddle him for a second, and he ripped him out of my arms and left, with a lot of drama. Another blow to me and my son.

I know he is seeing other women, and they don't what he is capable off, but they soon find out. i am at the point that i wish him a ___ty life, and he can go to hell for all I care.

I am so freaking mad right now.

He is acting the same towards his pearants, all nice and sweet at the beginning, and then it goes downhill. And still they take him back, and think it is very normal what he is doing. They are completely in denial. I guess they don't even know what BPD is exactly.

[Ayreana]

Last tuesday was really hell for me. In our relationship we had 2 dog, 1 I bought and 1 he gave to me for my birthday. When he left we discussed what to do with the dogs, and we decided that it would be better for the dogs to stay with me. Because he went back to his pearants, and they allready have 2 dogs and a very small home. But last tuesday he send me a message, he wanted his dog back, and if I didn't give him the dog, he would come by with his whole family and take it by force... .Lot of screaming and yelling from his side. Scared me to bits. I never saw him so angry towards me or violant.

So I asked my family what to do, and they said it would be better to hand over the dog, because causing a scene with police and such wouldn't do any good. Not for me and certainly not for my son.

So he came over and I had the dog in my arms, and wanted to cuddle him for a second, and he ripped him out of my arms and left, with a lot of drama. Another blow to me and my son.

I know he is seeing other women, and they don't what he is capable off, but they soon find out. i am at the point that i wish him a ___ty life, and he can go to hell for all I care.

I am so freaking mad right now.

He is acting the same towards his pearants, all nice and sweet at the beginning, and then it goes downhill. And still they take him back, and think it is very normal what he is doing. They are completely in denial. I guess they don't even know what BPD is exactly.

[Turkish]

I'm sorry that you lost your puppy, Ayreana  :'(

What's done is done, but I disagree with your family. He threatened you. I would have called the police to get some advice on what your options were. Then again, it may be that as long as you stay LC or NC, it might be best. Do you fear that he could harass you?

[Elpis]

You said that you bought one and he GAVE YOU one--so what one did he consider his?

And heck yes he threatened you! That's total bull.

I really feel ya here, my uBPDh has our 3 little doggies because I left so he's in the house with them, and I miss them so much... .it's hateful what somebody will use against us.

[Recooperating]

I am so sorry to hear this! I would be devistated without my dog, that furball is the best anti-depressant I could ever want! I am so sorry he took the pup!

If I may give some advice... .I would still go to the police report this incident. He threathned you and took YOUR dog! Yes this will cause drama and its up to you if that's worth it. But I would seriously consider it.

You didnt give up YOUR dog volentarily he threathned you, scared you and manipulated you into giving him up! What a dick! (Excuse my french... .)

[Elpis]

What a dick! (Excuse my french... .)

Well THAT'S one they didn't teach us in high school French... . 

[Ayreana]

I'm sorry that you lost your puppy, Ayreana  :'(

What's done is done, but I disagree with your family. He threatened you. I would have called the police to get some advice on what your options were. Then again, it may be that as long as you stay LC or NC, it might be best. Do you fear that he could harass you?

I also called the police, and they couldn't do anything. Only if he would show up and start acting out his threat. He is harassing me, by not changing his address, so I still get his bills I keep sending them back. And even contacted his mom, told her that he should change his address. And he would take care of it. I do not understand why he is doing this to me? And it is killing me

[Ayreana]

You said that you bought one and he GAVE YOU one--so what one did he consider his?

And heck yes he threatened you! That's total bull.

I really feel ya here, my uBPDh has our 3 little doggies because I left so he's in the house with them, and I miss them so much... .it's hateful what somebody will use against us.

He considered the one he gave me for my birthday his.

Sorry to hear you have to miss all of your dogs... .it is very hatefull what they can do.

[Whitebread]

Ohhh what a heartbreak for you Ayreana, I'm so sorry.  I think I would get police involved, but understand why you would rather not 'stir the pot'.  Threats of violence can never be taken lightly. 

Similar thing with my breakup, we had three big dogs, one my vet asked me to take, another that was a birthday gift to me from him, and the last one I saw and grabbed from Craigslist before something bad happened to him.  Basically then, " my dogs".

My leaving wasn't planned for the day I left, it was precipitated by a huge ugly argument so I quickly packed my stuff.  As much as I didn't want to I was going to leave two dogs with him, both preferred him over me, even the one that was my gift.  This breed is known for choosing 'their person' and thats just how that is.  He screamed at me that he wanted his dogs, all of them.  I told him they weren't HIS but he could keep the two, they were hooked up together and with him.  I had one in the truck with me and he picked up the other two and threw them in the truck.  I asked again if he was sure and his response was simply "drop dead!".  (And yeah, I was childish and replied " you first!"... .oops)

I have heard from his son he is having a very hard time without his beloved dogs... .it makes for a very quiet empty house.  And in all fairness he was good with them, cared for them better than he did me.  He was able to show them affection, which he couldn't with me. 

But he made his choice and they are all here, together, and adjusting.  He won't have that choice again.  The one who wasn't that into me before is glued to my side 24/7.  If they stayed they would've been cooped up 10-12 hrs a day... .not good for a working breed that needs stimulation and something to do.  At least with me they are not left alone and have interaction with me all day, every day.

I feel bad that the human drama caused such upheaval in their lives too but I think they are happier without the stress of the moods and ranting, just like I am.

I'm sorry for your loss, of your relationship and of your dog.  But you know, your decision to give him the dog kept you safe in a volatile situation, and your safety is paramount.  It just sucks though. :'(

[Ayreana]

Ohhh what a heartbreak for you Ayreana, I'm so sorry.  I think I would get police involved, but understand why you would rather not 'stir the pot'.  Threats of violence can never be taken lightly. 

Similar thing with my breakup, we had three big dogs, one my vet asked me to take, another that was a birthday gift to me from him, and the last one I saw and grabbed from Craigslist before something bad happened to him.  Basically then, " my dogs".

My leaving wasn't planned for the day I left, it was precipitated by a huge ugly argument so I quickly packed my stuff.  As much as I didn't want to I was going to leave two dogs with him, both preferred him over me, even the one that was my gift.  This breed is known for choosing 'their person' and thats just how that is.  He screamed at me that he wanted his dogs, all of them.  I told him they weren't HIS but he could keep the two, they were hooked up together and with him.  I had one in the truck with me and he picked up the other two and threw them in the truck.  I asked again if he was sure and his response was simply "drop dead!".  (And yeah, I was childish and replied " you first!"... .oops)

I have heard from his son he is having a very hard time without his beloved dogs... .it makes for a very quiet empty house.  And in all fairness he was good with them, cared for them better than he did me.  He was able to show them affection, which he couldn't with me. 

But he made his choice and they are all here, together, and adjusting.  He won't have that choice again.  The one who wasn't that into me before is glued to my side 24/7.  If they stayed they would've been cooped up 10-12 hrs a day... .not good for a working breed that needs stimulation and something to do.  At least with me they are not left alone and have interaction with me all day, every day.

I feel bad that the human drama caused such upheaval in their lives too but I think they are happier without the stress of the moods and ranting, just like I am.

I'm sorry for your loss, of your relationship and of your dog.  But you know, your decision to give him the dog kept you safe in a volatile situation, and your safety is paramount.  It just sucks though. :'(

Yes the main reason to give him the dog, was the safety of my son and myself. Before he left, he asked what to do with the dogs, I said they can both stay with me, because they were really attached to eachother. And his mother didn't want the dog, because they allready have 2 dogs.

One week later he send a message he was going to collect the dog, since he paid for him (if I would ask all the money back I spent on him, because of the gifts he would be in debt the rest of his life)

But anyway, he arranged it so, he is living with his brother now (who violated him when he was younger) so there was room for the dog. I know he is crazy about the dog, but it still hurts like hell, that he threatened me and took away my dog!

[Elpis]

I know he is crazy about the dog, but it still hurts like hell, that he threatened me and took away my dog!

Of course it does! i'm so sorry... .

When it came down to my own physical and emotional safety I had to realize that the dogs will adjust, and my safety came first.

[Ayreana]

I know he is crazy about the dog, but it still hurts like hell, that he threatened me and took away my dog!

Of course it does! i'm so sorry... .

When it came down to my own physical and emotional safety I had to realize that the dogs will adjust, and my safety came first.

My thoughts exactly, i didn't want any scene on My doorstep.

And still I don't hate him, am I even normal?

[Elpis]

I know he is crazy about the dog, but it still hurts like hell, that he threatened me and took away my dog!

Of course it does! i'm so sorry... .

When it came down to my own physical and emotional safety I had to realize that the dogs will adjust, and my safety came first.

My thoughts exactly, i didn't want any scene on My doorstep.

And still I don't hate him, am I even normal?

What good would it do you to hate him anyway? All that does is sour your own soul. And since you were wise enough to realize what you needed to do to remain safe and healthy, you don't seem like someone who would get hung up on wasting that energy on someone who meant to harm you.

You're HEALTHY NORMAL!

[Ayreana]

I know he is crazy about the dog, but it still hurts like hell, that he threatened me and took away my dog!

Of course it does! i'm so sorry... .

When it came down to my own physical and emotional safety I had to realize that the dogs will adjust, and my safety came first.

My thoughts exactly, i didn't want any scene on My doorstep.

And still I don't hate him, am I even normal?

What good would it do you to hate him anyway? All that does is sour your own soul. And since you were wise enough to realize what you needed to do to remain safe and healthy, you don't seem like someone who would get hung up on wasting that energy on someone who meant to harm you.

You're HEALTHY NORMAL!

Good to hear that someone thinks I am normal 

[Elpis]

Good to hear that someone thinks I am normal 

I don't know how good you want to feel about that, I think I may still be the only person who thinks I am. hahahahaaa!