I believe my ex has BPD

[dontgetit123]

I was in a relationship for 3 years that ended about 6 months ago.  In that time we continue to see each other, sleep together and fight on a regular basis.  My SO will tell me he wants nothing to do with me and when I oblige he contacts me and the cycle continues.  We also work together so it has been extremely hard for me to remove myself from the situation.  I would like to learn how to communicate with my SO since we see each other daily and I would also like help in removing myself from the romantic/dysfunctional part of our relationship.  He is currently seeing/sleeping with multiple woman and I continue to put my physical health in jeopardy by continuing a sexual relationship with him.  At this point I feel very helpless and weak.  It has become very easy to believe that me getting upset is the problem versus his behavior.  From the beginning of our relationship he was inappropriate with other woman.  I always excused this or satiated myself by saying it wasn't cheating.  Our relationship ended when I discovered that he had in fact been sleeping with a woman for the last year of our relationship.  He had made me feel crazy for 3 years by telling me I was stupid or crazy for thinking he was doing anything wrong, so in a way it was nice to know I was only stupid and crazy for not trusting my feelings.  I know I am the one that needs to change and I'm hoping this site can give me some tools to effectively do so. 

[Elpis]

For starters, 

One of the biggest things I did to hurt myself in my long marriage to a man who is likely undiagnosed BPD was to shut down my instincts in the interest of "making it work" or "getting along."

And it's really hard when we realize we've been putting ourselves in harm's way!

What do your instincts tell you that you should do?