Conundrum

[Ripped Heart]

So not a single response to the text messages I sent this morning to see how she was but a phone call tonight. She seemed a little uncertain and was talking to me like I was just a random stranger. Kept it short and sweet and I made the entire conversation about her, her feelings and difficulties she has had this week, her plans for tomorrow, the fact she has had a lot of trouble sleeping these past few days etc... .

So 30 mins later, get a text to ask if I'm still awake and then she calls again. She has had some trouble with her tablet and we contacted support last week to report it. She rang to tell me she got an email from them at the weekend with some questions that she doesn't know how to answer and wondered if I could take a look and respond for her. Not a problem as this was a gift from me, registered under my account and I thought the questions were going to be around serial number, and purchase date.

Took me by surprise when the questions she wanted me to answer included contact number and address (her own) Model ID (which she found out for me last week when it broke so knew what that was)

I've done a lot for her over the past year, taken care of a lot of things she has had difficulty with or when she has had a break down and generally been a caretaker to her and her needs. Since her recent episode, I backed away from helping her as I started to feel it was unhealthy, not just for her but also for me. With help from T, I've been learning how to take a more supportive role without the over compensation. Now I'm left wondering if this is either an attempt to test me or to see if I still "care" enough?

Could understand if it was technical questions she was being asked but when they are asking for her contact number and address, that's the part that has thrown me.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Ripped Heart]

My own question kind of got answered at 3am this morning when a very tearful and upset gf called out of desperation.

She was unable to sleep because of stress of christmas, shift changes at work (3 nights followed by 3 days) and lots of things going on in her head. The email she sent, I believe now was a test to see if I still cared because I've given her space this week and haven't been the care taker I usually am.

It seems she hasn't slept all week to the point where it's now causing her major difficulties in herself and she just wanted to make sure she wasn't alone. Then this morning it was back to not responding to texts.

I do empathise with how she is feeling and how difficult it must be for her. Seems Christmas is back on because she talked about what would be best to do for dinner and again I offered that if there was anything she needed me to get, just to let me know. We talked about how the lack of sleep is making her feel and whether a doctor might be able to prescribe something to help her feel a bit better and to help with her sleeping.

It is a bit of a vicious cycle though because she is staying in bed right up until she has to get up for work and by doing that, she isn't eating and the medication she is on to help keep her regulated she isn't taking, which then adds to her feelings of anxiety and stress. Part of that stress has been over christmas presents for her eldest daughter, she had an idea in mind but doesn't have the finances to pull it off, to the point she was going to put herself into more debt with a loan from a loanshark to do it. It's not something I'm overly keen on and previously paid off some of her bills in order to give her breathing space (which backfired slightly) However, she was pleased in herself when she told me last night that she has decided to be more realistic and as daughters b/day is in February, get her the gift then. I let her know I admired her decision and what a great job she was doing.

For now, it's all I can do, just taking things one day at a time on her terms and getting on with what I have to do.

[Crumbling]

Is she interrupting your sleep? 

"one day at a time, on her terms" sounds pretty accommodating ... ."getting on with what I have to do" sounds like the healthier choice, for you.

I'm just the little birdie in your ear telling you it's okay to think about you too. 

Thanks for sharing!

c