my heart hurts...

[Depression = 72% of members]

I'm so tired.  I'm tired of the circles.  I'm tired of arguing.  I just want peace.  I need help.

Here we go again... .Just when I think everything is going fine and we might make headway on our goals... .Bam, I'm evil.  I'm selfish.  Blah, blah, blah... .When will this end?  I try not to say anything for days, almost a week.  Apparently he cant get better with me... .it always ends up being my fault.  ugh, just tired. 

[Tiredandworn]

I'm so tired.  I'm tired of the circles.  I'm tired of arguing.  I just want peace.  I need help.

Here we go again... .Just when I think everything is going fine and we might make headway on our goals... .Bam, I'm evil.  I'm selfish.  Blah, blah, blah... .When will this end?  I try not to say anything for days, almost a week.  Apparently he cant get better with me... .it always ends up being my fault.  ugh, just tired. 

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Determined1]

It is definitely a tiring experience to go through these situations wondering when the end will be in sight. Just remember to take care of your inner self as no one else can do that except you. It really helps a lot and it can be hard when you feel like you have to take a great deal of care of somebody else.

[janey62]

Hey Tired,

I know exactly what you mean!  It feels so relentlessly unfair and exhausting... . 

I'm learning, with the help of some wise souls on this forum, to bring in my boundaries now, so not tolerate or listen to the things he says and does.  And not to argue... .it just feeds the fire. 

It's early days and I'm still trying to work out how to do that, but I'm determined to try.  I'm hoping that this will help to lessen the exhaustion   and stop him from keeping going on and on; it might also help him to have less to feel sorry about later?

I'm not so good at validating, I feel too angry... .

I expect you've tried lots of ways of coping with it too?  Has anything worked at all?   




Janey

[Mrs.Mclost]

I also know how exhausting it can be. I too long for a few normal, eruption free, no guessing, drama or conflict days in a row, but it seems to be pretty rare. Just when I feel like we are having a normal adult conversation about something he starts giving me these sideways answers, just to mess with me I swear! Someday's it makes "tired me", into" irritated & tired" me. Then he accuses me of ALWAYS reacting to him that way. It's like he just wants to bug & tease at the wrong time knowing all along that all I wanted was a simple answer or to have a simple convo about something.It is very wearing! Thankfully, I usually end up disengaging because it's not a life and death subject and go about my own business if possible. I try not to let his childish behavior bait me, it would be even more wearing & exhaust me even more if I bit! Hang in there, it is a tiring time of year!