How many members thought their pwBPD would kill them in their sleep?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

As some of you may know, my uBPDexgf made an attempt to take my life by suffocation after I fell asleep on our last night together. This was following a venomous raging attack and violent assult on me of which she was arrested for and is facing multiple charges. After experiencing this personally, and having read about other members "fearing" this type of attack,  I'm very curious to know how many of you either feared this happening, or have actually experienced an attack such as this first-hand like I have.

I was trying to find something to be happy about this Christmas after being replaced in October... the one thing I was finally able to come up with is that I am still alive.

Happy Holiday's members!

Perhaps my user name for this site should have been Still Breathing.

[Sandman1881]

As some of you may know, my uBPDexgf made an attempt to take my life by suffocation after I fell asleep on our last night together. This was following a venomous raging attack and violent assult on me of which she was arrested for and is facing multiple charges. After experiencing this personally, and having read about other members "fearing" this type of attack,  I'm very curious to know how many of you either feared this happening, or have actually experienced an attack such as this first-hand like I have.

I was trying to find something to be happy about this Christmas after being replaced in October... the one thing I was finally able to come up with is that I am still alive.

Happy Holiday's members!

Perhaps my user name for this site should have been Still Breathing.

[clydegriffith]

I personally didn't think she was capable of that, but she did take a knife out and threaten to stab me on more than one ocassion during her BPD rages. My family and friends were concerned that she would poison me though.

I think a BPD is much more likely to kill someone in a fit of rage as opposed to methodically planning it out.

[Aussie JJ]

I had mine choke me once, I don't think she was capable of following through... .

She physically hit me on two separate occasions and on one occasion pushed me up against a wall holding my neck.  When she realised what she was doing she retreated so much it wasn't funny and apologised repetitively.  Waiting for her to say I did this to her in court... .  *SIGH* 

The joys aye... .

[LApak]

WOW WOW WOW-  I started this site a few months ago, started with the trying , to Unsure-  and YES YES YES-   I feared going to sleep-  I just left, 3 days ago... .  Really miserable but - YES, I was awoken to him a few times by him choking me, woke up once and there was a rifle U the bed,  I would often wake up and he had been Up all nite watching me-  final straw, as hard as it was is I started to fear sleep-  don't know wow I keep crying , why I even wish I didn't go- but I did it . And sticking to it!  WOW WOW WOW-  we really aren't alone are we?

[Sandman1881]

The dam girl spit in my face repeatedly while opening the door to A uhaul truck I was driving doing 70mph. She was putting her foot near the road. And once while she was driving, she turned the wheel towards the concrete road divider while at 70mph. A few inches and the truck would have flipped. No wonder I think I miss her. That's because my life isn't at risk! Normal arguments don't end like this. Love is truly blind

[rollercoaster24]

Hi everyone

My ex used to kick, scratch and hit me whilst I was asleep, I do believe he actually tried to smother me once too.

It was common to be kept awake most of the night, (I was rising at 4.30 am for work) and then be shocked awake again, to the sound of his horrible verbal abuse, raging either to himself about me and my family, or raging at me directly.

I do think that I eventually never slept that well when we were in bed together, because I was afraid on some level that he might kill me in my sleep at some point. Since he had premeditated my murder during the day once, (and I caught him in that when I found a huge wrench under the front seat of my car), the thought did cross my mind a lot.

The same day I found the wrench under the seat of my car, (which wasn't there in the morning), BP had earlier thrown 3 large rocks at my head during his rage attack later that day. He had pretended to be well adjusted when he learned I was taking a walk around a local lake, and so I took him along with me. Immediately that he got in my car and we drove off, his attitude reverted back to crap again, and when we exited the car to take the walk, he immediately began his verbal attack.

For a while I managed to avoid conflict, by walking in the other direction or refusing to engage his attacks. But eventually I yelled back because he wouldn't leave me alone, and I couldn't escape from him, plus I was getting afraid.

After he was told that either he was walking home or I was, (only about 15 minute walk from where we were), he raged more and threw the rocks at my head, narrowly missing me by millimetres.

When I got into my car to drive home later, I noticed something big sliding around on the floor, and on arrival at home, grabbed whatever it was from under my passenger seat, (where BP had been seated earlier). I discovered this huge wrench, and felt terrified. On asking BP why it was there, at first he denied knowledge of it, blaming my 20yr old daughter, (she was at work all day), and when that didn't work, he tried my son who was at high school at the time and had been dropped off in the morning, when that wrench was not in the car. Several days later, BP admitted that he 'may' have put it in my car 'for protection' for us from criminals.

Pfft.

I often used to ponder that even though there were some dodgy individuals to look out for, I had reason to be just as cautious of BP as I did of them!

[Tim300]

It seems like most (but not all) of the articles and books on BPD stress that pwBPD are unlikely to harm others.  This idea is repeated a lot on the Internet by pwBPD.  But from my own personal experience, and from reading forums on bpdfamily.com, it seems like homicidal ideation and physical attacks are not uncommon at all.  I do worry that the Wikipedia entry for BPD, and some similar sources, might do more harm than good by downplaying how serious BPD is.  Granted, very few Nons are likely to receive death threats from a pwBPD -- the Non would likely have to achieve a high level of intimacy with the pwBPD to trigger such strong anger.

Receiving an explicit death threat was perhaps the most traumatizing experience for me.  To have someone want to kill you -- let alone your best friend -- is terribly psychologically damaging.

In any event, did you receive any explicit or implicit death threats from your pwBPD?  Or do you otherwise have reason to fear your pwBPD in this regard?   

[Sandman1881]

Tim300,

I'm not sure how to identify her anymore... on several occasions, perhaps 4 times, she said that she believed that I would kill her someday. It stuck out in mind at first as dyregulated nonsense. Near the end it struck me as so strange and too often repeated by her that out of the blue and weeks later during quiet time, I made it a point to ask her to not say that particular statement ever again. I told her how it made me feel uncomfortable and I would never do that too her or anyone and she should stop. It was shrugged off.

Likely riddled with shame if I found out what she was up to. I did mostly.  Like her sending x rated shots and videos sex and of course physical cheating and a replacement dumping. My entire life, from this interaction, has been turned completely upside-down.

10% suicidal 10% homicidal.

[Perfidy]

Me

[Perfidy]

Her displays of violence were such that I couldn't feel safe around her when I slept. She was a weird one. I am safe now. It's over. How all this happened is really beyond ordinary understanding. Nine of us have encountered the borderline dynamic until now. Up close and personal. Just pity the next guy.

[Perfidy]

Autocorrect is usually my friend.