Hi everyone
I think I cycle in and out of isolation, anger and depression, and since the 23/12 I have sunk down again further. This had a lot to do with BP making sure that I found out about his latest good news. It seems like he wanted to ruin my Christmas, like he said his always was,
(yea but it was all his own doing!).His good news related to his new relationship with a Psychiatrist (his match), how he wanted to get away from 'everything and everyone', and his great new job on a Farm Stay, (sounds like the Psychiatrist owns it).
Over the 9 months since I left BP for good, his Sister In-law pops up to the Shopping Centre I work at and only fills me in or asks if I have heard from BP if we happen to be in the same area when she arrives, and we make eye contact and say Hi.
She would always start off with asking if I had heard from BP, and any times I had I would always tell her, then she would tell me the news was the same, he was still unemployed, likely to never find work, (family all thought he was actually not interested in working at all) and sleeping in his car, totally down on him, cynical, spiteful etc.
There was one other lot of news a few months back, and that was that BP was 'living with friends' in a nearby suburb, (20 minutes drive away) but that it wasn't 'a very good environment for him', (boo hoo, as if he is a saint).
The next time I saw her was in October or November, when she said that BP had lost his drivers license and didn't even know, because heaps of parking tickets had been sent to his parents, and weren't being paid by him, so they had turned into fines, then suspension of license for unpaid amounts. She said that his parents hadn't seen him or spoken to him for months at that stage, so I figured he was seeing someone new and didn't want anyone to know about it. His parents also didn't have his mobile number, because BP was always in the habit of buying $2 SIM cards but never putting any credit on his phone, so after several months, the SIM would stop working and he would throw it out and get a new one. I lost track of how many mobile numbers he went through during his relationship with me. However it was always my understanding that the cheap SIM cards had at least 6 months life span, I if I find out that is true, then it will only confirm that he was likely cheating the whole time and wanted to change his number for that reason.
As it is, he contacted several times for recycles over the phone, last being in August, where he wanted me to phone him and message him Goodnight each day, but didn't want to meet up in person at any point. So he wanted us to act like we were a couple again over the phone, but not see each other in person, (pretty weird).
I only just realised now that he was lying to me once again. That day in August that he rang, was preceded by 2 weeks prior, whereby he was driving out of the suburb where he was said to be 'living with friends but it wasn't a good environment', (at that time I hadn't yet been told about this by the Sister In-law).
So we spot each other in lanes next door, he cranes his neck to see who I have in my van with me, (an elderly gentleman friend) and the lights change and we drive off in different directions. Several weeks later, he phones out of the blue, and mentions that the morning I saw him, he had just been coming back from his parents, (a lie because I later found out he hadn't been in touch with them for months when his Sister In-law 'just had' to fill me in).
The fact that he lied? Only confirms to me that he was with another woman. Not to mention, BP always said he was 'staying with friends' when he lived at my place, and he also said the same thing, 'it wasn't a very good environment', yea, when HE was there of course
What was his barrage of questions to me aimed at when he recontacted for a possible recycle? Establishing if I had met someone, in a relationship or sleeping with anyone. I said No which was the honest truth at that time.
To be honest, I really wish I never had to see his Sister In-law again, but it always seems that I run into her, I am sure there are different times she could go shopping at the Centre, but she seems to come in the mornings when I am there. There is also a shop there where BP's brothers (friends wife) works. When she got the job, I recall BP saying to me smugly, ':)o you feel like the world is closing in on you Roller?'
So yea, I am back into and out of depression, I feel like I cannot escape triggers of my ex, haunting me at my workplace, not only because he used to stalk and harass me there every day, (mixed with romance and emotion), and then now his family, old friends, just sucks.
I should be realising that if he wanted me to know his situation, then he is obviously still hurting himself, and wants to hurt me equally. Sadly that isn't much of a bonus to know.
