I think my 24 year old has BPD

[sacparent]

I am the parent of an only child. My daughter is 24 and I've known for over 10 years that something is very very wrong with the way she reacts to things. Everyone keeps telling me that "she's just being a teenager", etc. I've known many many teenagers and none of them act like this. I am just starting to research BPD and the description fits perfectly.   How do I bring this up to her?  She has just recently gone on a 2 month trip and I'm feeling so much less stress since she's not around. I am sad that her being away from me is better than her being near me (she has been living with me for the past 3 months).

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Ziggiddy]

Hi sacparent

I am sorry you have been struggling for so long.

It is difficult to pinpoint certain behavioural patterns particularly when your child is a teenager  -most people don't have an understanding that some things teens do are not normal teen behaviour!

As a parent though, you know when something is not quite right.

i am glad you are trying to get to the bottom of what is really happening with your daughter.

It's also understandable that you are sad that it is at times easier to be without her than with her - pwBPD can really push our buttons.

If she does indeed have BPD then you may need to find very different methods of relating to her than you have previously used.

As far as bringing up your suspicions to her, I would strongly advise not to do that as yet.

Firstly you want to educate yourself as much as you can on the disorder to be really sure that this is what you are dealing with.

Another important thing is that pwBPD do not always accept that that is what is really going on and it can drive them further away.


I would advise you to look closely at the things you can do to manage your own responses to her and learn some communication tools first.

If you have not already read them yet you might find it useful to examine ways to improve communication an reduce conflict.

here are some links:

Tools to Reduce Conflict with a person suffering from BPD (3 minute instructional video)

https://bpdfamily.com/portfolio-child

I hope you will find them useul

Ziggiddy

[SlyQQ]

No one will say yay or nay here there are some tell tales that point in the direction but you can have all of them an not be BPD some of the most common are promiscuity and drug use but of an by themselves it means nothing other posobilities to consider are high functioning aspergers or bi polar 1 family history is relavent as well 

[SlyQQ]

sorry meant bi polar 2

[NorthernGirl]

Hello sacparent and welcome 

As Ziggiddy says, it is good you are trying to figure out what is going on with your daughter. This must be very difficult on you but I'm glad you found our site as we can help.

Please tell us more of your story and we'll direct you to information that can help. Let us know some of the behaviors you've noticed with your daughter. You can also check out the Parenting a son or daughter suffering from BPD board to learn more about what other parents have done to deal with similar situations.

Welcome again. You've come to the right place.