One more shot from my ex

[Indyan]

There he goes again... .he sent a letter to the landlords and phoned them to demand that they "agree for him to leave the house" 

He left 6 months ago and gave his notice to them nearly 3 months ago... .

As the landlords said "He does what he wants, we don't need to agree."

He complained to them, saying I'd look into his medical file (did I?) and that the landlords and me were against him (his paranoia his really showing now  )

The landlords said "It's not my business. If you mind mine, I'll mind yours."

It makes me angry that he bothers even those people. They're nice and understanding, but old, good Lord, and they keep telling me there is no way they'll kick me and the kids out or anything like that. I assured them I'll pay, no doubt about that.

The landlord said BPDx sounded surprised when L told him I paid the rent for December.

He was surprised?

My God, he really lives on a different planet.

[maxen]

There he goes again... .he sent a letter to the landlords and phoned them to demand that they "agree for him to leave the house" 

He left 6 months ago and gave his notice to them nearly 3 months ago... .

As the landlords said "He does what he wants, we don't need to agree."

this does sound like an exercise in trying to loop someone else into a position of assuming responsibility. a bit of a trigger for me, as my w did this sort of thing frequently.

[Indyan]

Hi Maxen, and thanks for your reply.

Yes, you're right, as it's never his fault, nor his decision.

He sent letters to the benefits and told me HIS LAWYER told him to do it... .I asked my lawyer, she said that lawyers don't get involved in things like that.

But I also wonder if it's not an excuse to step back. His "notice" (no legal value, we're both on the lease and he can't legally step out) ends on the 6th January. He told me ages ago that he would hand back the keys... .

Now I guess he won't anymore and say "I need the landlords to accept first".

He does something which is not legal and then DEMANDS that the landlords agree with it. This is just crazy.

He even told them that if they didn't "he'd have no choice but move back in as he cannot pay for 2 rents".

WTH? Move back in? In his dreams!

Happy2015 to all 

[Matt]

You should probably just have the locks changed.  You can get a kit at the hardware store and do it yourself - maybe it would be courteous to give a key to the landlords - or pay someone to do it.

No need to inform your ex - he doesn't live there and probably has no legal rights at all.

Are you having any contact with him at all, except through the attorneys?

[Indyan]

You should probably just have the locks changed.  You can get a kit at the hardware store and do it yourself - maybe it would be courteous to give a key to the landlords - or pay someone to do it.

No need to inform your ex - he doesn't live there and probably has no legal rights at all.

Are you having any contact with him at all, except through the attorneys?

I have! A friend of mine changed the locks about 3 weeks ago. I feel much better like this.

We do have SOME contact. I started a new job this morning (an important one in a school where he worked a bit 2 years ago... .).

He remembered it and wrote me texts to wish me luck and then to ask how it was etc.

It's nice but it hurts too.

[Matt]

You should probably just have the locks changed.  You can get a kit at the hardware store and do it yourself - maybe it would be courteous to give a key to the landlords - or pay someone to do it.

No need to inform your ex - he doesn't live there and probably has no legal rights at all.

Are you having any contact with him at all, except through the attorneys?

I have! A friend of mine changed the locks about 3 weeks ago. I feel much better like this.

We do have SOME contact. I started a new job this morning (an important one in a school where he's worked a bit 2 years ago... .).

He remembered it and wrote me texts to wish me luck and then to ask how it was etc.

It's nice but it hurts too.

Did you respond to his text?

[Indyan]

Did you respond to his text?

I did. I prefer to encourage a nice behaviour than a lousy one.

[Matt]

Did you respond to his text?

I did. I prefer to encourage a nice behaviour than a lousy one.

Well whatever works for you.

But most of us find that it works better to minimize communication - keep it going through attorneys, or maybe e-mail so there is a record.  Texts, phone and face-to-face keep us engaged with the other party - more drama, more chaos, more problems... .