Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
October 30, 2020, 03:38:01 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Former BPDFamily Administrator Dies:
More information here

  Help!   Groups   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Poll
Question: After reading this article, how would you rate it?
Excellent - 0 (0%)
Good - 0 (0%)
Fair - 0 (0%)
Poor - 0 (0%)
Total Voters: 0

Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: POLL: Divorce Rules -- Boyan & Termini  (Read 176 times)
DreamGirl
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Posts: 4017


Do. Or do not. There is no try.


« on: December 30, 2014, 12:07:53 PM »

Divorce Rules
https://cooperativeparenting.com/

Excerpt
Dear Mom and Dad,

I’m just a kid, so please…

1.Do not talk badly about my other parent. (This makes me feel torn apart! It also makes me feel bad about myself.)

2.Do not talk about my other parent’s friends or relatives. (Let me care for someone even if you don’t.)

3.Do not talk about the divorce or other grown-up stuff. (This makes me feel sick. Please leave me out of it.)

4.Do not talk about child support. (This makes me feel guilty or like I’m a possession instead of your kid.)

5.Do not make me feel bad when I enjoy time with my other parent. (This makes me afraid to tell you things.)

6.Do not block my visits or prevent me from speaking to my other parent on the phone. (This makes me very upset.)

7.Do not interrupt my time with my other parent by calling too much or by planning my activities during our time together.

8.Do not argue in front of me or on the phone when I can hear you. (This turns my stomach inside out!)

9.Do not ask me to spy for you when I’m at my other parent’s home. (This makes me feel disloyal and dishonest.)

10.Do not ask me to keep secrets from my other parent. (Secrets make me feel anxious.)

11.Do not ask me questions about my other parent’s life. (This makes me uncomfortable. Just let me tell you.)

12.Do not give me verbal messages to deliver to my other parent. (I end up feeling anxious about their reaction. Please call them, leave them a message at work or put a note in the mail.)

13.Do not send written messages with me or place them in my bag. (This also makes me uncomfortable.)

14.Do not blame my other parent for the divorce or for things that go wrong in your life. (This really feels terrible! I end up wanting to defend them from your attack. Sometimes it makes me feel sorry for you and want to protect you. I just want to be a kid, so please, please…stop putting me in the middle!)

15.Do not treat me like an adult. (It causes way too much stress for me.) Please find a friend or therapist to talk with.

16.Do not ignore my other parent or sit on opposite sides of the room during my school or sports activities. (This makes me feel sad and embarrassed. Please act like parents and be friendly, even if it is just for me.)

17.Do let me take items to my other home as long as I can carry them back and forth. (Otherwise it feels like you are treating me like a possession.)

18.Do not use guilt to pressure me to love you more and do not ask me where I want to live.

19.Do realize that I have two homes, not just one. (It doesn’t matter how much time I spend there.) I’d also really appreciate it if you would let my other parent come into our house every now and then, because it’s my home too!

20.Do let me love both of you and see each of you as much as possible!

Thanks!

Your loving child
Logged

  "What I want is what I've not got, and what I need is all around me." ~Dave Matthews

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Links and Information
CLINICAL INFORMATION
The Big Picture
5 Dimensions of Personality
BPD? How can I know?
Get Someone into Therapy
Treatment of BPD
Full Clinical Definition
Top 50 Questions

EDITORIAL DEPARTMENTS
My Child has BPD
My Parent/Sibling has BPD
My Significant Other has BPD
Recovering a Breakup
My Failing Romance
Endorsed Books
Archived Articles

RELATIONSHIP TOOLS
How to Stop Reacting
Ending Cycle of Conflict
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Values and Boundaries
On-Line CBT Program
>> More Tools

MESSAGEBOARD GENERAL
Membership Eligibility
Messageboard Guidelines
Directory
Suicidal Ideation
Domestic Violence
ABOUT US
Mission
Policy and Disclaimers
Professional Endorsements
Wikipedia
Facebook

BPDFamily.org

Your Account
Settings

Moderation Appeal
Become a Sponsor
Sponsorship Account


Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!