I looked at her Facebook after 7 weeks of split

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I broke up with my ex BPDgf 7 weeks ago (regretted it) and she instantly blocked me from her FB I only looked at her profile once about a week afterwards on a freinds FB account to be hit with pictures of her and my replacement ! That hurt me bad so I refrained from looking ever since as I didn't see the point in torturing myself anymore . 7 weeks out now I don't feel as bad or hurting as much so I thought why not have a look again today seeing pics of her and the replacement didn't hurt atall I was actually surprised at what I did find in her pictures .

She hasn't deleted any pics of me or pics of me and her together she normaly deletes pics of her exes instantly on FB . She's had ample time to do this as her time line since the break up has remained active !

I could be over thinking this however why has she not deleted those pictures ? Not 1 ? When normaly ex freinds and ex boyfriends normaly get the delete button pressed instantly anyone else here had there exBPD partners keep pics on ther FB ?

[Splitblack4good]

I broke up with my ex BPDgf 7 weeks ago (regretted it) and she instantly blocked me from her FB I only looked at her profile once about a week afterwards on a freinds FB account to be hit with pictures of her and my replacement ! That hurt me bad so I refrained from looking ever since as I didn't see the point in torturing myself anymore . 7 weeks out now I don't feel as bad or hurting as much so I thought why not have a look again today seeing pics of her and the replacement didn't hurt atall I was actually surprised at what I did find in her pictures .

She hasn't deleted any pics of me or pics of me and her together she normaly deletes pics of her exes instantly on FB . She's had ample time to do this as her time line since the break up has remained active !

I could be over thinking this however why has she not deleted those pictures ? Not 1 ? When normaly ex freinds and ex boyfriends normaly get the delete button pressed instantly anyone else here had there exBPD partners keep pics on ther FB ?

[Hawk Ridge]

I was wondering the same thing.  She has pics of us but none with her replacement. She has been with her 7 months

[hurting300]

Wow... .It's weird reading this. My ex moved out while I was at work taking our baby with her. Eight months ago, well she didn't block me on Facebook, instead she deactivated. Well at times I would be online she would activate it . I looked at her page, she still has all the "I love my boyfriend" posts up. So.  I blocked her . Plus she still liked my company page. It's odd. If they hate us so much why keep that stuff up?

[parisian]

7 weeks out now I don't feel as bad or hurting as much so I thought why not have a look again today seeing pics of her and the replacement didn't hurt atall I was actually surprised at what I did find in her pictures .

She hasn't deleted any pics of me or pics of me and her together she normaly deletes pics of her exes instantly on FB . She's had ample time to do this as her time line since the break up has remained active !

I could be over thinking this however why has she not deleted those pictures ? Not 1 ? When normaly ex freinds and ex boyfriends normaly get the delete button pressed instantly anyone else here had there exBPD partners keep pics on ther FB ?

Excellent news re how you are feeling. Sounds like you are detatching from her

I wouldn't read too much into things. Sometimes they delete things sometimes they don't. Mine had pics of her wedding still on her fbk, plus coffee dates she'd had with one night stands. I have no idea whether she has deleted pics of us or not and I don't really care. I blocked her on fb and have no desire to see how 'wonderful' her life is without me.

Try not to look at their social media. It impededs recovery and just makes you speculate and ruminate about things (e.g. why did she do or not do that?).

[felix22]

I can relate. Went and looked at her page a few days ago. Nothing changes. It's probably static. My heart dropped though. I was imagining something, I think. So strange. And, a bad idea also. Hard to resist. Facebook can be brutal. I really have to be careful in general on there. I'm definitely not over her. However, I think much of the draw is just habit. Opening my cell phone and looking for a reply to a message. Wanting to say goodnight to someone, etc. And, she's back and forth right now. A couple of days ago, it was "I don't want you waiting around for me to come back." Today it was "I love you so much". Just when I start to detach, she tries to reel me back in. Or she tries to cut the line. I am trying to be a supportive friend and reassure her that I will stay connected as a friend. Personally, I just think it's hardcore to say you won't contact someone who has that as their primary primitive fear. Not that I am relating this to anyone's post on here. Just rambling on, and that thought came out. I have been in some f-ing brutal relationships. And, I always kept an open hand to friendship. Maybe cause I could be such an a-hole during the relationship? Anyways, rambling on... .

[Splitblack4good]

I can relate. Went and looked at her page a few days ago. Nothing changes. It's probably static. My heart dropped though. I was imagining something, I think. So strange. And, a bad idea also. Hard to resist. Facebook can be brutal. I really have to be careful in general on there. I'm definitely not over her. However, I think much of the draw is just habit. Opening my cell phone and looking for a reply to a message. Wanting to say goodnight to someone, etc. And, she's back and forth right now. A couple of days ago, it was "I don't want you waiting around for me to come back." Today it was "I love you so much". Just when I start to detach, she tries to reel me back in. Or she tries to cut the line. I am trying to be a supportive friend and reassure her that I will stay connected as a friend. Personally, I just think it's hardcore to say you won't contact someone who has that as their primary primitive fear. Not that I am relating this to anyone's post on here. Just rambling on, and that thought came out. I have been in some f-ing brutal relationships. And, I always kept an open hand to friendship. Maybe cause I could be such an a-hole during the relationship? Anyways, rambling on... .

Floating are you wanting to detach from your ex ? That must be painful having texts that get your hopes up then texts that say the opposite ?

My ex rang me out of the blue Xmas eve and was upset when wishing each other a merry Xmas etc I hadnt heard from her for a couple of weeks prior to this and even then her texts were hateful so I thought maybe she was having regrets etc due to her comments she made like "I didn't want it to be like this between us " and "ive unblocked you on my mobile " I thought she was trying to tell me she maybe still felt something for me she then cried to the point she had to hang up . This left me conffused so I text her Xmas day and asked what the call was all about and got back "can't talk right now head is a mess " ive not heard anything from her since and getting silent treatment so I've gone NC again now as I've realised she was was just emotionally venting on me rather than on my replacment no other reason plus I think she hinted about me being unblocked on her phone was for me to chase her but she made it clear she wont reply this way she in control still but I'm not playing that game !  I am detached enough that I stayed indifferent to her throughout the entire call . If she contacts me again in future I will ignore her as I've learnt a lesson there.

[enlighten me]

BPDs are hoarders. They hoard objects and memories. You probably still have a place in her heart. My exgf had pictures of her ex husband on fb. Not many but she never had many pics of her boy friemds. Lots of her but not partners. Ive not checked my exs photos so dont know if the few she had of me are still there.

They do miss exs. They select the memories that make them feel good and hold onto them.

[Splitblack4good]

BPDs are hoarders. They hoard objects and memories. You probably still have a place in her heart. My exgf had pictures of her ex husband on fb. Not many but she never had many pics of her boy friemds. Lots of her but not partners. Ive not checked my exs photos so dont know if the few she had of me are still there.

They do miss exs. They select the memories that make them feel good and hold onto them.

Funny you should say this it has just reminded me of something she said to me about a week after we broke up her words were " you will always have a place in my heart like no other and you always will " I broke up with her not the other way around and regretted it and although BPD I think I did unrepairable damage and broke her heart but couldn't carry on the unhealthy relationship any longer . And she couldn't trust me again now not to do leave her again .She got a new bf pretty much the next day he was not set up prior to the split as my replacement as stated I broke up with her he was just the first bloke she grabbed after I triggered her anandonment fears ! I did want her back but at the same time I know I have to detach now so I'm doin pretty well with it not ther 100% yet and if she comes back later I will then have to make a decision if she doesn't come back or I never hear from her again then at least it will get a lot easier a lot quicker .

[Blimblam]

Imagine a  .  Then it got twisted tied bound and dunked repeatedly into the depths of a substance that completely enveloped it like it was drowning over and over.  Now slowly the twisted heart is unravelling.  Every unfolding of a twist feels like writhing uncontrollable pain amguish and despair.  You may not realize it now but once everything has been untwisted and ironed out the   will have the most beautiful tiedye mandala pattern on it.  It just hasn't been revealed yet and every step of the process was necesary.

"The universe is made of the same substance that twists men's hearts." - atlas shrugged.

[Deeno02]

I broke it by being a dumbass and clicking on her Instagram. 99% of the other times I did it and nothing. This time, poof there is was. Pic of her and new guy. Broke me. Then I saw the happy face and said: glad your happy... good bye my love. What did I get back 20 minutes later? A snarky text calling me passive aggressive and if I had anything to say, I could say it to her. And stop posting on her Instagram. I'm glad I did it. It's what needed to happen and showed me just how much of a sick assh*le she is. No remorse, no thank you, no nothing but her sterile snark.

I took the hi road and told her that I was genuinely happy for her and to drop the ego. That I had no animosity and glad she was in a good place. Said talk to you later, sent it and blocked her number... .. It was the wake up I needed. Unfortunately it can't remain blocked as she is soon to be coaching my kid. Anyway, it was a help to ME I broke NC. Back on it now.

[felix22]

Imagine a  .  Then it got twisted tied bound and dunked repeatedly into the depths of a substance that completely enveloped it like it was drowning over and over.  Now slowly the twisted heart is unravelling.  Every unfolding of a twist feels like writhing uncontrollable pain amguish and despair.  You may not realize it now but once everything has been untwisted and ironed out the   will have the most beautiful tiedye mandala pattern on it.  It just hasn't been revealed yet and every step of the process was necesary.

"The universe is made of the same substance that twists men's hearts." - atlas shrugged.

-Awesome analogy

[felix22]

Floating are you wanting to detach from your ex ? That must be painful having texts that get your hopes up then texts that say the opposite ?

I am wanting to stay attached, even though I know it's unhealthy. We are still talking also. Whether I want it or not, I am working on being myself. And doing what I need to do not to be dependent. It's painful when she is pushing me away, for sure.