still angry and hurt, good days and bad days 9 months out and 130 days NC

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

Hi everyone

My 4 year rollercoaster ride ended for good in March this year, and I slowly began the long process of recovery.

First step was moving house to a location BP had no idea of, (or so I hoped after catching him going through bins on CCTV early one morning in April).

I knew if I stayed in that rental, that I was susceptible to future recycles, because BP would just keep coming and going as he pleased, killing me a little more each time he did.

The moving process took time and energy away from grieving because I was so incredibly busy, what with that and my business too, and cleaning out the old rental, not to mention removing all the things BP had been storing at my house, (car parts and other stuff he 'found' or stole).

By late May, the whole process was over, and reorganisation of the new rental place was mostly done too.

This time I was the boarder, and my daughter and her fiancé were in the position of sole charge tenants, this took some pressure off after it being the other way around for some years. BP hated my family by the way, and was obsessed and raging about every single aspect of their lives.

I was working each day, making some time for social life and trying not to ruminate or fret too much, some days were good and I achieved a lot, others low and not very functional, except for the necessities at work.

There were many damaged items/prowler incidents at my new place over the 9 months I have been away from exBP however, so given his penchance for stalking me in the past, I have no doubt that he managed to follow me home and obtain my new location, (as careful and alert as I was).

In May he made contact through a phone call I wasn't expecting, but this was a rage filled hate rant directed at me, after which he hung up and obviously we all know I would never have any closure.

In June he contacted me again, this time on a sympathy trip whereby he wanted to rage on like a victim about his sorry little life as usual. I didn't engage for long that time.

In August he contacted me again, this time he was a little more philosophical and gentler in tone, and wanted me to keep calling him each day and saying goodnight in a message in the evenings. This went on over several days, but each time I talked to him, he got more and more negative and draining, (not that he wasn't to start with really). It came to day 4 or 5, and I was acting secretly calling him, because I didn't want my family to worry that he would turn up at our new place, so I just stopped calling/messaging and he never contacted me again either. That was my last contact with him.

Nevertheless, his Sister Inlaw shops at the Centre I work at, (Shopping Centre) and if she sees me and makes eye contact, she would in the past ask if I had heard from him, I told her that I had but all contact stopped in August when I failed to keep up calling him at his request.

She would always tell me that he was still unemployed, and living in his car, and treating his elderly parents badly/rudely, using them for money, lying etc etc.

Around October, she told me that BP was 'living with friends' in a suburb 20 minutes drive away, but that it 'wasn't a very good environment for him'.

Pfft like he is some kind of saint!

That's what he used to tell people when he was living for free at mine for 2 or more years, so I wondered if he had managed to scam some other female once again, seems to be a pattern with him.

Once, when I was travelling to that suburb to pick up stock for my business (before I knew he was living there) I stopped at the lights, and heard a toot beside me, I looked out to see BP's car right beside me. Ironically, I had an elderly Pensioner friend in my passenger seat, who had been asking me about my troubles with exBP only minutes before I spotted his car in the lane next to me. BP was leaning down low trying frantically to see who was in my van, he figured out in the end that it was an elderly friend, so I guess he stopped worrying. I do wonder what he would have done if it was a younger male friend?

I remember the effect that moment had, heart beating fast, checking my rear vision mirrors constantly all the way home, to see if he was following me like he often used to. He wasn't, and that was a mixture of relief plus sadness, that old paradox.

But some weeks later was when he did call out of the blue and his excuse was that seeing me that day was his reason.

In the meantime, I feel I haven't really had a proper chance to disengage from him, with his repeated contact attempts, and his Sister Inlaw frequenting my workplace, it really sucks.

Meanwhile, the latest news from Sister Inlaw, (23/12) that I really wanted to stop her telling me, was that BP is doing great now, (that's where I tried to stop her). She carried on to say that he is now working, (after 6 years unemployed, and 4 of those with me), doing great for himself, and had 'met his match'.

I said 'pardon?'

She said 'She's a Psychiatrist Roller and is keeping him in line'. Then, she said 'Merry Xmas to you and your family', and off she went.

It almost felt like she was enjoying delivering that message to hurt me, yet in the past, she was nasty and cynical about her brother in law, couldn't be bothered with him etc etc. What a liar and a dangerous evil person he is.

I definitely felt that BP knew she would be telling me his news, and now that he is suddenly working, his family are all different about it all, like it cancels out every crappy thing he did to them all. It also feels like she enjoyed telling me too, knowing it would hurt, and I have to wonder why? She knew how bad he was to me, and she knew how much pain I was in too and she knew he was dangerous and extremely mentally ill. I mean she knows the disgusting horrible intimate personal details that BP used to rant on about her and his brother to me, and one day she even admitted in front of me about one I had heard of hundreds of times.

How does having a job change that overnight?

How does having a new girlfriend make all that go away?

Do they think that because she is a Psychiatrist that she is made of stronger stuff?

In my opinion, she is not very smart, because she must have either been totally scammed, or she was treating him and is now in a relationship with him, (if it is even true anyway?)

What do you think?

Are there any Psychiatrists on this site, that are female and entered into relationships with males they knew were mentally ill and demanding?

Please tell me.

I don't even know why I care?

[rollercoaster24]

Hi everyone

My 4 year rollercoaster ride ended for good in March this year, and I slowly began the long process of recovery.

First step was moving house to a location BP had no idea of, (or so I hoped after catching him going through bins on CCTV early one morning in April).

I knew if I stayed in that rental, that I was susceptible to future recycles, because BP would just keep coming and going as he pleased, killing me a little more each time he did.

The moving process took time and energy away from grieving because I was so incredibly busy, what with that and my business too, and cleaning out the old rental, not to mention removing all the things BP had been storing at my house, (car parts and other stuff he 'found' or stole).

By late May, the whole process was over, and reorganisation of the new rental place was mostly done too.

This time I was the boarder, and my daughter and her fiancé were in the position of sole charge tenants, this took some pressure off after it being the other way around for some years. BP hated my family by the way, and was obsessed and raging about every single aspect of their lives.

I was working each day, making some time for social life and trying not to ruminate or fret too much, some days were good and I achieved a lot, others low and not very functional, except for the necessities at work.

There were many damaged items/prowler incidents at my new place over the 9 months I have been away from exBP however, so given his penchance for stalking me in the past, I have no doubt that he managed to follow me home and obtain my new location, (as careful and alert as I was).

In May he made contact through a phone call I wasn't expecting, but this was a rage filled hate rant directed at me, after which he hung up and obviously we all know I would never have any closure.

In June he contacted me again, this time on a sympathy trip whereby he wanted to rage on like a victim about his sorry little life as usual. I didn't engage for long that time.

In August he contacted me again, this time he was a little more philosophical and gentler in tone, and wanted me to keep calling him each day and saying goodnight in a message in the evenings. This went on over several days, but each time I talked to him, he got more and more negative and draining, (not that he wasn't to start with really). It came to day 4 or 5, and I was acting secretly calling him, because I didn't want my family to worry that he would turn up at our new place, so I just stopped calling/messaging and he never contacted me again either. That was my last contact with him.

Nevertheless, his Sister Inlaw shops at the Centre I work at, (Shopping Centre) and if she sees me and makes eye contact, she would in the past ask if I had heard from him, I told her that I had but all contact stopped in August when I failed to keep up calling him at his request.

She would always tell me that he was still unemployed, and living in his car, and treating his elderly parents badly/rudely, using them for money, lying etc etc.

Around October, she told me that BP was 'living with friends' in a suburb 20 minutes drive away, but that it 'wasn't a very good environment for him'.

Pfft like he is some kind of saint!

That's what he used to tell people when he was living for free at mine for 2 or more years, so I wondered if he had managed to scam some other female once again, seems to be a pattern with him.

Once, when I was travelling to that suburb to pick up stock for my business (before I knew he was living there) I stopped at the lights, and heard a toot beside me, I looked out to see BP's car right beside me. Ironically, I had an elderly Pensioner friend in my passenger seat, who had been asking me about my troubles with exBP only minutes before I spotted his car in the lane next to me. BP was leaning down low trying frantically to see who was in my van, he figured out in the end that it was an elderly friend, so I guess he stopped worrying. I do wonder what he would have done if it was a younger male friend?

I remember the effect that moment had, heart beating fast, checking my rear vision mirrors constantly all the way home, to see if he was following me like he often used to. He wasn't, and that was a mixture of relief plus sadness, that old paradox.

But some weeks later was when he did call out of the blue and his excuse was that seeing me that day was his reason.

In the meantime, I feel I haven't really had a proper chance to disengage from him, with his repeated contact attempts, and his Sister Inlaw frequenting my workplace, it really sucks.

Meanwhile, the latest news from Sister Inlaw, (23/12) that I really wanted to stop her telling me, was that BP is doing great now, (that's where I tried to stop her). She carried on to say that he is now working, (after 6 years unemployed, and 4 of those with me), doing great for himself, and had 'met his match'.

I said 'pardon?'

She said 'She's a Psychiatrist Roller and is keeping him in line'. Then, she said 'Merry Xmas to you and your family', and off she went.

It almost felt like she was enjoying delivering that message to hurt me, yet in the past, she was nasty and cynical about her brother in law, couldn't be bothered with him etc etc. What a liar and a dangerous evil person he is.

I definitely felt that BP knew she would be telling me his news, and now that he is suddenly working, his family are all different about it all, like it cancels out every crappy thing he did to them all. It also feels like she enjoyed telling me too, knowing it would hurt, and I have to wonder why? She knew how bad he was to me, and she knew how much pain I was in too and she knew he was dangerous and extremely mentally ill. I mean she knows the disgusting horrible intimate personal details that BP used to rant on about her and his brother to me, and one day she even admitted in front of me about one I had heard of hundreds of times.

How does having a job change that overnight?

How does having a new girlfriend make all that go away?

Do they think that because she is a Psychiatrist that she is made of stronger stuff?

In my opinion, she is not very smart, because she must have either been totally scammed, or she was treating him and is now in a relationship with him, (if it is even true anyway?)

What do you think?

Are there any Psychiatrists on this site, that are female and entered into relationships with males they knew were mentally ill and demanding?

Please tell me.

I don't even know why I care?