I Believe my pwBPD must always be the victim to the next suitor ... .so therefore no matter what the reality was of the previous relationship... .it will always be portrayed as abusive and wrong... .They have to portray this to set-up maximum rescue scenario. Time and time again... .she portrayed this to everyone, her parents, therapist, etc for maximum sympathy and manipulation.
Do they outright lie about this abuse or do they actually believe what they are saying... .who knows?
In all honesty, I think that they re-write their own internal history, and then believe that that's the truth, with fact being replaced by a distortion that fit in with their feelings.
Going slightly off topic here - In the recent past, I’ve recorded one of our many arguments on my phone (without her knowledge), just to prove to myself that I’m not going insane, and remembering things wrong.
When this argument came up in another argument at a later date; her take on what she said, was a complete reversal of what actually happened.
Not sure if this qualifies as her wanting to look like the victim, but she sure didn’t want my hogging this title.
I agree that they may rewrite their internal history and believe that lie as the truth...
Also, I cannot tell you how many times (at the end of our relationship), that my ex completely reversed what she said (exactly as you say), and then later she would even change it back to what she originally said. I almost think that she knew what she was doing as unknown to me she was with someone else and was possibly purposefully making arguments to damage or relationship?
... she admitted just once to me that she did this.
