do they care more about their new bf, than their children usually?

[borderdude]

Well, that is my conclution in my case , but I have not real data to back it up.

She seemed to be all around her new boyfriend as first priority, over her children , and she got many of them, my interpretation of the whole thing, from observing her and her actions is that the kids are easily neglected in favour of new shining boyfriends.

Is this frequently ocurring in the BPD world?, lets hope i am wrong.

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[SlyQQ]

yes

[borderdude]

yes

Well, what a shock ... .

[SlyQQ]

Not just there boyfriends either, can be any of there needs in general it is most stark with a new boyfriend more examples than i care to mention

[Ripped Heart]

Sadly, I've seen this too.

What I found out in recent days is that BPDgf, moved in with her ex boyfriend simply because she was in debt and couldn't deal with debt collectors knocking at the door. Instead, she left d15 (at the time) in the house on her own to deal with them instead and would just send her money over for food.

She has 3 children, s23, d20 and d17 of which the eldest 2 are closer to their father, she doesn't talk much about when she separated from their father, except little glimpses and it sounded like she abandoned her children in favour of herself. D17 eventually moved back with her, s23 has recently moved back in with his father while him and gf save up for a house together and d20 is at university.

Relationship between her and d20 is very strained to say the least. I know d20 was upset before christmas because she got to spend the day with her mother and for most of that she was on the phone, sometimes to me. Put me in a difficult position because I keep reminding her to put the children first and she gets angry that I put mine first, even going as far as trying to fight for attention when it's on my children.

One example, d14 lost her grandfather in October and was devastated. I was there to comfort and console d14 because it was a difficult time for her. BPDgf, created a lot of drama and raged that day because she wasn't getting the attention she felt she deserved.

That's also how I knew without any doubt that I was dealing with pwBPD, because her treatment of me was the same as towards her friends, my children and even her own children so it wasn't anything personal against me.