Why Can't They Leave Us Alone?

[captainp]

My ex is now telling other women that I'm a "fake nice guy."  I treated her really well during our entire relationship, and everything I did was sincere. 

We broke up two months ago and she is still talking about me.  Why can't she just leave me alone?  I don't understand.

Is it because deep down she knows that I was truly good to her and has to convince herself that it was all "fake?" 

I really don't get it. 

[Trog]

Because she is a 'fake nice guy'. Often replace 'you' with 'I' in their communication and you learn what they think about themselves.

My ex is going around saying my family is scum! Which is hilarious as my mum and dad are in their 70s and really cutesy. Her family had her sectioned (which was the right move, however), she thinks her family are scum.

You for I.

[Trog]

Double post

[Infern0]

Because she is a 'fake nice guy'. Often replace 'you' with 'I' in their communication and you learn what they think about themselves.

My ex is going around saying my family is scum! Which is hilarious as my mum and dad are in their 70s and really cutesy. Her family had her sectioned (which was the right move, however), she thinks her family are scum.

You for I.

This is so true.

Mine told me a while ago that I was going nowhere in life, had no future prospects etc, i thought hang on a minute, are we talking about me or you here?

[Perdita]

Maybe she has to convince herself that she threw away a "fake nice guy" because it is easier to live with than throwing away a really nice guy. 

[captainp]

Is that why she can't let it go?  That's what I'm really wondering.  Why can't she just drop it?

Or are you saying that by trying to convince other people that I'm a "fake nice guy" she's really trying to convince herself, and that's why she can't shut up about it. 

[Perdita]

Or are you saying that by trying to convince other people that I'm a "fake nice guy" she's really trying to convince herself, and that's why she can't shut up about it.

Sounds like it to me.  They will twist even the most obvious truths into something else to turn it into whatever they need it to be at that moment. 

[mitchell16]

Im currently in the same boat. been NC since august. ine has sent texts, phone calls, emails. One minute Im scum and the next Im the greatest. Since ive been  NC a week hasnt went by that I havent got some sort of attempt to talk to me. She has relatives text me, her friends call me, she calls my boss, etc... I wonder when it will ever end.

[Splitblack4good]

See now the whole BPD ex wont leave us nons alone thing I find only applies to some . I've been split up from mine for 2 months now and had LC she rang me a coulple of times mostly hatful stuff and the odd conffusing text that she doesn't want to be freinds and can't forgive me  but at the same time wants to be able to get on with me  ? Lol sometimes I want to hear from her and she is ignoring me now I sent her a text 4 days ago asking her why she wants to get on with me but then says she cant be freinds with me and it doesn't make any sense !

And even tho she's in a new relaitionship with my replacement she's saying she still feels alone !

I've given up trying to translate BPD and gone NC now I don't know if she will ever talk to me again or not ? Some ppl say if you go hard NC they are likley to contact you but we will see .

[Split black]

They never quit... .Im 1500 miles away for 6 months and yes I did hook up with several times when I had to go back to sell property and bring more things south. It didn't matter to her that she was eh involved with another guy who she cheated on... .and again when I saw her, cheated on someone else... . shes totally addicted to sex, coke, booze, painkillers and weed.   A beautiful 6ft tall blonde now 27 year old model with a body that you can only image. What a waste... .shes never going to survive an I will be sad to hear about it but not shocked. What a tragic waste of potential.

It doesn't matter what she did try to ruin and sabotage our relationship when I was at least thought I was the only one... .she forgot how she blackmailed me. She forgot all the heinous things she said and did... . but she just wont stop calling and texting ... .asking for money. Shes back to saying she loves me now that Im gone! lmao.  Always some crisis. Now shes broke... .or shes in the hospital and cant pay for scripts... .or she getting kicked out of the apt I got her and paid for countless times... .because she somehow can never hold on to a penny before it goes up her nose or somewhere else... . 

Mostly I ignore her calls ... .sometimes I pick up... .or answer a text. She cant ruin me anymore with destructive campaigns... .Im painted white-ish again.

 And Im currently ignoring pleas for money.  Its never hey how are you, I miss you... .its I wanna get out of here, its cold, im ready for you to buy me a ticket. I want to move now... .or I need money... .wire some money.

Every time I get a text... .I would say it was once a month and now its like 4 times a week or a call... .I get angina.I mean I get anxious... .I hate it!  Shes in that little girl help me mode. The abused helpless 4 year old.   Please. please help me... .etc    Its brutally hard to ignore when you have a human heart...  They truly are the most manipulative creatures on this planet.  We are targets nothing more.

But if it helps those who are not detached yet... .you will at some point and it then becomes more of a tug of conscience. You cant help them. If youre REALLY lucky maybe they will ignore you forever haha.  I didn't and I wont ever send money.   I asked her why not get her boyfriend to help... .she denies having any... .or then qualifies it with some lie.  ugh   whatever.