Ex BPDbf asked for a ride home after surgery... unbelievable

[RedDove]

I posted last week that my ex BPDbf began contacting me again around the holidays. This was after I ended it back in June. I unraveled his cheating with the OW (in the wings) and he deeply betrayed my loyalty and trust. I ended it and went NC.

He began texting me at the beginning of December when he heard from a mutual acquaintance that my Dad had been hospitalized. He invited me for a drink, but I told him my Dad was my priority. He never followed through on the drink invite.

Contact escalated via text on New Years Eve. I was at a dinner party with my best friend. He wanted to know if I was alone and texted he loved me, always have, always will, blah, blah, blah. I didn't fall for the idealization and wished him a nice NYE. On New Years Day I got a text at 7:30am that said "Good Morning Beautiful! Happy 2015". I replied with a simple Happy 2015.

Didn't hear from him again until last weekend. He texted a pic of himself (narcissist) in front of his old beat up trash dumpster car. He had carved in the hood Good Bye Old "Blank" 300,000 miles & 10 years. Then a message that he was out test driving and buying a new car. I replied, "That's nice. Good way to start 2015... .out with the old and in with the new." Of course there was an underlying implied meaning towards him.

Then on Monday he texted "his long work commute was so much better now. And oh, by the way I'm having surgery next Monday, can you take me to the hospital?" I replied with, "How nice. Sorry to hear about surgery. Hope it goes well". He then went on to tell me what the surgery was for, and if I couldn't drive him to the hospital he'd get his son, but could I pick him up. I replied that it would be best to get his son. He texted again, "okay, great! With a smiley face?" No clue what he meant so I didn't respond.

I haven't heard from him since. However, I was pretty pissed off that after everything he put through, the fact we haven't seen in each other in 6 months, that he would have the nerve to ask me for rides to the hospital for surgery! Granted he knows I'm still out of work and likely the only person home during the day and available. But still... .really Unbelievable!

Sorry, I'm just venting my frustration and anger! 

[paperlung]

Hi RedDove, I can relate to how you are feeling, although my ex and I had been in LC for a few months. Before that, I hadn't spoken to her in a year. I caught up with her in person two times in December. On January 1 or 2 she asked if I could drive her to her ultrasound appointment on the 13th. I was thinking to myself, "There's really no other way you can get there? Do you realize how aware I am that you were just using me towards the end of our relationship while getting your emotional fix from somebody else?" She could ask her sister, she could take a cab... .why me?"

[patientandclear]

I suspect these requests are calculated to be things they think you won't turn down.

[fromheeltoheal]

However, I was pretty pissed off that after everything he put through, the fact we haven't seen in each other in 6 months, that he would have the nerve to ask me for rides to the hospital for surgery![/i] [/color]

Had it been my ex it wouldn't have been nerve; it became clear that the memories of the past were available to her, but the feelings associated with those memories were not.  Having an unstable sense of self has the benefit of always providing a new beginning, let's just deal with our current needs and who can be used to meet them, no need to consider the psychic wreckage left in our wake.

[Infared]

After reading your post, it really reaffirmed for me the positive attributes of absolute NC. Without it you are leaving your door wide open to more of the same.