What is your plan to get stronger and healthier while NC?
1. getting my full nights sleep back
2. working out 5 x/week, eat less crap food
3. go outside every day (I work from home)
4. talk to a support person or post at least once/day
5. meditations, journaling, anxiety reducing little things
6. post enough on this board to get to the Perso Inventory section
7. get through all that I can learn from this
8. re integrate the activities I used to love to do and stopped doing
9. breathe and let the emotions roll out of me
10. practice to 'just be' (and not fix anything nor make any plans)
That should get me through the next 26 days.
Welcoming the inputs!
Bravesun, it sounds like it has been a long haul. My dBPDh received the BPD diagnosis after 2 years of trying to work SA recovery and not being able to really "get it".
Wow! Missy... 2 years... It must have been heartwrenching...
I've heard from 3 partners in my groups of the 1-2 years average time to stop the hurtful behavior, the 2-3 yrs for the obsession/objectivisation to stop for them, but that it takes longer than that for them to 'get it' how hurtful their behavior was. That's subject to individual stories, of course.
Mine has had spurs of impressive insights, and has been able to not act out sexually for some weeks at a time, but I'm not sure there has been a full 30 consecutive days yet. The obssession phase is very high right now. This of course is causing a lot of anxiety for me at this time.
At 1st during the separation my dBPDh did accelerate his behavior.
I'm thinking about that now. The extinction burst effect.
That ended up being the only way for him to truly hit bottom and start doing recovery for himself.
It looks like she has that undertaken now. She's very strongly attached to do this for her own life and not for this relationship now. And the 'bottom' has been coming more in small cumulative increments rather than in a big event.
It sounds like you used to be in therapy and used to be in a group, any plans to start something up again? Therapeutic and 12 step support through this is really the only way I have been able get through this and thrive.
Yes. I am thinking about it. The support group I used to attend has dissolved. But I have kept regular contact with 3 of its members, and we've been following each other's stories for a while now. I might see if I could not get on some sort of accountability plan with them, like to work on a sponsor/buddy system.
I am hoping to get on with this board too, as far as BPD goes. The focus of 2 of my other supports has been on the SA part only. Definitely therapeutic when I'll start to work FT again.
Thank you for your checking on me, guys!...
It sure feels good each time to meet new people who know how it feels like...