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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: 1 Year later  (Read 620 times)
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Separated
Posts: 167

« on: January 25, 2015, 05:55:05 PM »

Although i see a few familiar "faces" some of you do now remember me or were not around last year when this site helped me tremendously. I had a 1 year marriage to a BPD. She was textbook BPD and ws to the worst extreme of any case I've heard about. This was the worst experience of my life. I lived on these boards.

I maintained NC even though I fell of the wagon a few times and slowly my life started to move forward again. I met someone against your advice and am still in that relationship today. I was nowhere near ready to be in a relationship and was honest about that with my current. she was understanding and it just sorta happened.

So slowly I gravitate away from my BPD ex even though she is in my thoughts more than I would like her to be at this point. Then last August I get a call from her kids father. He was the built in triangulation she uses. Come to find out she had been putting him through hell since "they" left me with my life in complete shambles. He was fighting for custody and wanted me to do an affidavit. In exchange he gave me some information I found interesting. When she left she took a check that was mailed to me for work I had done. It was made to my business name so she could not cash it. She opened an account under my business name and deposited the check giving her access to the mere $400. Stille it was enough to charge her. when she left she had filed false CDV charges on me which I still have to go to court for. I also allowed her to come over about this time last year during one of my weak moments and I recorded her talking about how I was innocent of the CDV charge.

So last week they arrest her for some petty charge for this bank fraud thing. She has caused me so much damage and pain that I really got off on this. I know this may not be the right way of thinking but it's true. I still have to face her in this court, divorce court, and the CDV court.

I just wanted to tell everyone that is struggling with a BPD breakup to keep walking away. Stay NC. It gets better. I look back and cannot believe all that I allowed myself to go through with this crazy b!tch. I thank you all. I could not have done it without you. God Bless you all.
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1809

« Reply #1 on: January 25, 2015, 09:03:52 PM »

you did the right thing and should't feel any shame for it: this might be her wake up call effects change in her life.

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Posts: 37

« Reply #2 on: January 26, 2015, 12:26:23 AM »

Mine also fraudulently used my credit card to purchase a bunch of stuff online with auto payments so it kept on billing my card.  I exploded and that is was the final straw that broke the camels back.  She ended it.  Split me blacker than black.  She also threatened me with bogus charges.

I considered having her charged with fraud, but decided it wasn't worth the hassle.  She is a damaged person.  She doesn't see reality the way we do. 

I am still struggling with the loss of this relationship, but that says as much about my attachment issues as hers.  Our love really isn't love with these kind of people.  Infatuation but not love.  Hurts to say that.
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