Debilitating shame

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

So much wisdom in this:

There's a Japanese art form called Kintsugi, fixing broken pottery with lacquer resin mixed with precious metals. It's based on a philosophy that "treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise."

People who deny their history by disguising their brokenness aren't likely to be fulfilling partners for people who acknowledge and embrace their brokenness, and want to repair and sublimate it to create the beautiful work of art of themselves.

Thanks for sharing, HappyNihilist.

[eyvindr]

So much wisdom in this:

There's a Japanese art form called Kintsugi, fixing broken pottery with lacquer resin mixed with precious metals. It's based on a philosophy that "treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise."

People who deny their history by disguising their brokenness aren't likely to be fulfilling partners for people who acknowledge and embrace their brokenness, and want to repair and sublimate it to create the beautiful work of art of themselves.

Thanks for sharing, HappyNihilist.

[doubleAries]

Unfortunately I can't take a few days for myself right now. I'm at a 3 week long trade show. 10+ hour days, 7 days a week.

But I'm doing pretty well actually.

EXCEPT that today I had to close down my booth and go to an oral surgeon and have a tooth yanked out. AAARRRGGGHHH!

But you know what? A really interesting thing happened this evening. One of my long time customers came in only about an hour after I had this tooth yanked out. She's a BPD--they always zero in on me, and I recognize them immediately. She has been an extremely difficult customer for years. But this time she asked why my face was swollen. I explained to her about my dental emergency. After she made a rather large purchase order, she asked me to sit on the floor in front of her while she did some Reiki healing on me. Now, this is not really my thing. But sit I did, and closed my eyes while she laid hands on me. At first, I was tense--I mean a BPD (Pisces too, just like my mom!) has her hands on my face  But after a while I talked to "mom's voice" a little (silently--it wasn't thoughts, it was feelings) and explained that this BPD was being kind. Her version of healing and mine are quite different, but the intention certainly matters, and she was being giving and kind. It then became a relaxing and touching experience. She also was quite moved by my trusting her. We came--without words--to a new understanding between us.

I like all of you guys's things here about broken pots and such. Even if it won't fly on dating websites (haha) it will certainly fly inside me.

[doubleAries]

Cup of tea, anyone? 

I'm back from my trade show and getting waterlogged with all the tea 

Still have a long way to go emotionally. But that's OK too.

Pingo, your post about kintsugi has burned itself into my brain. Thank you for sharing that. Meant and continues to mean a great deal. I'm really wrapping myself around that idea.

[Pingo]

Cup of tea, anyone? 

I'm back from my trade show and getting waterlogged with all the tea 

Still have a long way to go emotionally. But that's OK too.

Pingo, your post about kintsugi has burned itself into my brain. Thank you for sharing that. Meant and continues to mean a great deal. I'm really wrapping myself around that idea.

Ooh, I think that was Happy Nihilist who mentioned that! Glad you are back and in one piece I hope!

[doubleAries]

gosh, you're right!

Well thank all of you anyway!