should I seek professional help for myself?

[Depression = 72% of members]

I'm feeling very depressed since the breakup. Would seeking professional help be a good idea?

[august west]

I'm feeling very depressed since the breakup. Would seeking professional help be a good idea?

[Infared]

I had severe depression after the abrupt abandonment and replacement. (Not in that order.)

... .it was accompanied by severe anxiety and panic attacks.

I chose to get help because I was not coping well.  It took two tries to find a counselor that was a good fit for me and who helped me with my part in the relationship and why I had picked the person who treated me so poorly.  We both believe that my emotions were so extreme after the relationship that I was chemically imbalance, not coping and was to the point of considering suicide because my pain was so severe.

Therapy is always positive if you are going in there honestly and with a need to love yourself and to change for the positive.

It was a great decision for me. There is also no shame in saying "I need help"!it was one of the best choices that I ever made for my growth and well-being.

This is a great place for you to come and ask that question. You will get a lot of supportive feedback.

[Aussie JJ]

August,

Each and every one of us is different.  I know for me, the most daunting thing was seeking help.  I knew something was wrong, I was in denial.  It took me 3-4 months after finally reaching out for assistance before I could admit that I was depressed.  I look back now and I think how much more could I have taken by myself.  

Realise that at the end these relationships are abusive.  

The very nature of this mental illness forces you to question any and every aspect of your thinking.  The best thing that I did was reach out for that assistance.  

Also remember we are all individuals, I hope your not as bad as I was.  The denial alone, looking back was huge on my part. The very worst that can happen is that you seek the help, get some guidance to help you sort through the issues that have appeared out of this relationship and then realise, hey, I am ok, its time to move on.  

If that is the worst that happens, well I was depressed but I was able to move on quite quickly and recover, maybe I didnt need to spend that money on profesional help.  Then that is a lot better than the alternative of needing it and not having gone out and sought it and getting worse.  

My 2 cents mate.  If you think you need it, it may be of assistance.  Go for it, what harm can it do?  The harm of not seekign help for me was somethign I will never deny and always regret.  


AJJ.  

[Tibbles]

I did and it was great. It's a bit like finding a good doctor that works for you. You might have to shop around. A few things that surprised me:  it opened the tears that were inside. Spent most of the time crying. Was a bit embarrassed about that at the start but then I just got used to crying and was OK. The other thing was it took a while for me to see the benefits. Not sure what I expected, maybe a miracle cure. I hung in there and it was so worth the effort. Good luck.

[jhkbuzz]

I was looking for a T as the r/s was ending, so I was very lucky to already have one in place as the ___ started to hit the fan.

After my ex moved out we remained in limited contact, and my T was very helpful in guiding me through that process.

Now that we are n/c, she has helped me process through the incredibly painful tsunami of emotions that I experienced in the first few months of the b/u.

I am now at the point where my focus is shifting from an examination of her BPD to an examination of myself, which is healthier and where my true healing will come.

I would strongly recommend a T.

[Recooperating]

I would also recommend it! I saw a T before I left my dBPDexbf. My T never judged the rs but she did point out the part where my responsibility for anothers problem begin an end. When I started to change and deal with my codep issues, the rs got worse. My ex didnt want me to change that ofcourse... .Now I am in group therapy with 7 other women, all with their own issues but the same problem, people pleasure syndrom/low selfasteem/anxiety etc. Its super scary, but Im so excited and determined to do this wholeheartedly for ME!

The main reason why I went to see a T was my burn out/break down, I couldnt function anymore. Had to go on sick leave. Mainly because I was thinking in circles. Completely stuck in my own patterns in behaviour and thinking. My T helped me get perspective back and took me back to reality.

Good luck with your decision. Important is that you feel comfortable and you have a good feeling of trust with your T. Dont be scared to "shop" for a T.