Calm before the storm?

[Our abuse recovery guide]

It's been a few days since my uBPD SIL has had any kind of episode. It almost worries me. It's usually an every day thing. Anger, yelling, breaking things. I'm not sure what the common amount of triggers are for a BPD, but she has so many it's hard to keep track. Pretty much everything triggers her. To have a few days of silence, is strange. I fear that her next episode might be more explosive because she hasn't released all that's been building up. I also can't stand these days because it almost seems as if she isn't BPD. I have to stop myself from engaging in too much conversation with her because that is when she gets the things she needs to use against me. I learned that lesson real quick. I used to think we had some sort of friendship, and that when we talked about things, and she always agreed with what I was saying, that she actually did. But then I found out that she basically disagreed with everything! So why act so interested to begin with? And why not ever tell me the things she tells my H and MIL? Yet she told my H that I'm "Passive aggressive", because her dog bit my cat and I called it a " dumbass" on Facebook. Not sure how that makes me passive aggressive, she already knows how I feel about the dog. But she's the one that has all these issues with me, but has never ever said anything to me! She even tells me that I'm the only one she really doesn't mind living here because everyone else does nothing(Not true,but to her it is)! Is being fake a part of BPD? Anyways, thanks for listening to my ramble. This site has definitely helped relieve a little daily anxiety.

[Smallville]

It's been a few days since my uBPD SIL has had any kind of episode. It almost worries me. It's usually an every day thing. Anger, yelling, breaking things. I'm not sure what the common amount of triggers are for a BPD, but she has so many it's hard to keep track. Pretty much everything triggers her. To have a few days of silence, is strange. I fear that her next episode might be more explosive because she hasn't released all that's been building up. I also can't stand these days because it almost seems as if she isn't BPD. I have to stop myself from engaging in too much conversation with her because that is when she gets the things she needs to use against me. I learned that lesson real quick. I used to think we had some sort of friendship, and that when we talked about things, and she always agreed with what I was saying, that she actually did. But then I found out that she basically disagreed with everything! So why act so interested to begin with? And why not ever tell me the things she tells my H and MIL? Yet she told my H that I'm "Passive aggressive", because her dog bit my cat and I called it a " dumbass" on Facebook. Not sure how that makes me passive aggressive, she already knows how I feel about the dog. But she's the one that has all these issues with me, but has never ever said anything to me! She even tells me that I'm the only one she really doesn't mind living here because everyone else does nothing(Not true,but to her it is)! Is being fake a part of BPD? Anyways, thanks for listening to my ramble. This site has definitely helped relieve a little daily anxiety.

[Tim300]

Well, I certainly wouldn't take it personally if she's complaining about you behind your back.  It seems like pwBPD tend to complain about everybody.  And of course they flip and flop with their opinions about others.  So maybe at one moment when you weren't around she thought of you as passive aggressive, but then at another moment when you were around she thought you were the greatest.

I think you're smart to not get too close with her when she's acting normal.  And I wouldn't open up too much in the form of giving her any info that she might be able to use against you later -- because I'm sure she will.  

[JRT]

my exBPD used to sharply criticize others and THEN compliment them all in the same breath sometimes!

[Smallville]

Well, I certainly wouldn't take it personally if she's complaining about you behind your back.  It seems like pwBPD tend to complain about everybody.  And of course they flip and flop with their opinions about others.  So maybe at one moment when you weren't around she thought of you as passive aggressive, but then at another moment when you were around she thought you were the greatest.

I think you're smart to not get too close with her when she's acting normal.  And I wouldn't open up too much in the form of giving her any info that she might be able to use against you later -- because I'm sure she will.  

Tim300, thanks for your response! It's hard to know what kind of info she could use against me, I feel like almost anything she can twist and turn it around and use it. And honestly, I've NEVER heard about her saying anything good about me behind my back, and I talk to my MIL almost every day and she tells me everything! My SIL says nice things TO me, but I can't see truth or sincerity in anything she says. And she been talking about taking me shopping when she gets her taxes. As much as I would love that, I don't like to take any offer she gives to me, for anything. That will just be something she can hold against me later.