New member to this forum

[SoSurreal]

Hello. I am new to this site. I believe that my husband has BPD and I am just learning about the disorder. We have been separated for a year and a half. We have a daughter and have been co-parenting during this time. I'm angry, confused and not wanting to stay in this state of limbo any longer. I've been hoping for a miracle in our relationship so that we could keep our family together, however, after recently learning about BPD I am no longer as hopeful for the changes I was anticipating. I hope I can gain more insight from this forum to help me move forward and to better understand BPD.

[fromheeltoheal]

Welcome SoSurreal!  There is a lot of information about BPD on this site and a whole lot of people who understand what it's like to be in a relationship with a borderline; keep posting and keep reading and you will surely find a way out of your limbo.  There are multiple boards too, for people in different stages and places in their relationship; you might find the Staying board is populated with people more in your place, or maybe the Leaving or Coparenting boards, for you to decide, but you will definitely get the insight you're looking for.

[Haye]

Hi SoSurreal and  

I'm sorry to hear about you situation. Even though I'm new at this board (was at the staying board earlier) i bet most of the nons here know how horrible  life in the limbo is. The thing I've learnt while hanging in the BPD family is that we can't really change the pwBPD in our life. The only thing we can change is how we take care of ourselves, how we react etc - stuff that we can change in ourselves.

Have you gone through the lessons and workshops at this board? They are excellent to go through. It takes a bit time and it's difficult, but well worth the troulbe. Of course also outside help like a therapist is a good choice.

[SoSurreal]

I can't tell you how happy I am that I found this site. I was beginning to question myself and my own thoughts and feelings. I now know I am not going crazy and this is the beginning of a new journey for me to look at this relationship differently (whether together or apart and co-parenting). I have not done any of the lessons or workshops here yet, but I will definitely be looking at them soon. After reading more on BPD I have realized I DO need a therapist to help get through this. Thank you for the encouragement and I am looking forward to learning more on this board.

[fromheeltoheal]

I now know I am not going crazy and this is the beginning of a new journey for me

Yep, same for me when I got here: we're not along, we're not crazy, people understand, I'm not the only one, there's hope.  WooHoo!  And it is a journey, a profound one full of growth, and one good area of focus is on enjoying the ride.  Take care of you!