Imagine it

[Trog]

In the morning you wake up to your boyfriend or girlfriend, there are no cold shoulders or hang overs from the previous nights arguments or accusations and you're not waking up on the couch... .but you wake with your partner, its a weekend and you're both happy to facing the morning and the weekend together.

What you do next? Well who knows, but whatever it is, it will be a joint decision with no resentment on what you do, you discuss what to do with the day over a breakfast you cooked together, no one told you the portion or the exact thing you should eat and the meal is eaten over a breakfast table and conversation flows without the need to scan your brain on the right thing to say in response to your partners next argument or falling out with the most recent friendship break. You don't feel the need to solve the insurmountable problems you are hearing over breakfast... .because there are none!

Maybe you take a bike ride, or go to the beach, or go shopping for furniture, no one brings up their ex or makes a comparison to the last bike ride they took with ex number 52, or the time they left her at the beach "because they were emotionally sick" and the furniture shopping may even go without a hitch. You drive back home, listening to the radio... .not having an argument.

Maybe in the afternoon you simply relax in the garden, if she/he starts to potter in the garden, thats fine. It doesn't mean that you must now immediately start working in the garden, mowing the lawn (because she has got up which means you must too). You have a drink of wine, chat, play cards, maybe some friends come over and you can cuddle up to your partner and she is not ignoring you or showcasing herself to the guests, its a pleasant enjoyable evening, not a lesson in how to be the perfect host.

Everyone leaves and there is no sudden change of mood, the evening rolls by and together you watch a movie cuddling up on the sofa (it isn't one she saw with her ex, who coincidentally the lead reminds her of), you snuggle, joke and maybe nap on the sofa and eventually retire to bed, together, make love, cuddle up and fall asleep.

Imagine that! I am imagining that. I am imagining being as good for a woman as she is for me, not being a servent, not dodging bullets, just being and being well.

This is how normal people live I believe?

[mitchell16]

its possible to find. Ive found it after my break up, NC with exBPD. But i will admit that after the relationship with exBPD I had lost touch with what normal people do in relationship I no longer had a concept of what normal was. Im slowly getting it back but it is a struggle. I believe i was brain washed into thinking how I was living was normal.

[Matt8888]

It sounds wonderful.