I need peace at home

[futurehuman]

 I signed up to take a certification course online, 10 month course. I purchased it one and a half years ago. My significant other disrupts the peace at home, will not give me space to study, text messaging and phone calls are obsessive, and she creates arguments and is a fragmented troublemaker. My partner is a psychotherapist and can be very manipulative. I am in therapy but need more support. Leaving the relationship is not an option at this time.

I am here for a support system. A cheerleading group to stay focused on myself and complete my course. Make a new career transition and if need be have the strength to walk away from the nonsensical noise that could never reflect a real conversation.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Turkish]

I signed up to take a certification course online, 10 month course. I purchased it one and a half years ago. My significant other disrupts the peace at home, will not give me space to study, text messaging and phone calls are obsessive, and she creates arguments and is a fragmented troublemaker. My partner is a psychotherapist and can be very manipulative. I am in therapy but need more support. Leaving the relationship is not an option at this time.

I am here for a support system. A cheerleading group to stay focused on myself and complete my course. Make a new career transition and if need be have the strength to walk away from the nonsensical noise that could never reflect a real conversation.

Hello futurehuman,

That certainly does sounds frustrating given the money and time commitment required for the course. Since your partner is a therapist, is she aware of BPD, or have you discussed it? I'm not saying that it would be beneficial to do so (in almost all cases, it's not, even with a diagnosed partner), but being a therapist, she may know something.

Regardless of that, we have tools here which can help you learn more about BPD, lessons on how to communicate, and discussions about erecting boundaries for you, because that's what it sounds like you need: peace and time to do what you need to do. We have a lot of this summarized in the Lessons at the top of this board (quick link to the right side bar-->. It's a lot of info, and you can certainly scan it to pick and choose which looks good for you right now. Here are two discussions which you may find beneficial in the meantime:

Communication using validation. What it is; how to do it

BOUNDARIES: Upholding our values and independence

I hope to hear more and how best we can support you!

Turkish

[waverider]

I am here for a support system. A cheerleading group to stay focused on myself and complete my course. Make a new career transition and if need be have the strength to walk away from the nonsensical noise that could never reflect a real conversation.

You will certainly find plenty of support here.

Establishing the boundaries Turkish mentions is important, especially with someone who is most like proficient at getting around them.

Txt and phone call obsession is very common. Many have gone through this.

Waverider

[Turkish]

Txt and phone call obsession is very common. Many have gone through this.

I once got into a traffic accident (rear-ended someone) because I let myself become so trained to respond to her constant texting that I developed an anxiety about it. I was less than 10 mins and 2 miles from home, and would have been home at my usual arrival time. I should have ignored it. I wasn't texting at the time I hit the person in front of me, but I let my mind go somewhere else after I put down the phone. It's tough to break out of such response dynamics due to their lack of object constancy and fear of being being alone, but it can be done with practice and support.