What she said to me a lot

[Hostage1234]

Did your BPD parter ever say you were cursed and her family saw right through you and new you were a bad guy

[fromheeltoheal]

No, but she could have, it wouldn't be out of character for her, or borderlines in general.  What did you make it mean?  If she said it a lot, why did you stay?

[Hostage1234]

I stayed because we had a son and when these things were said always when I was leaving to go somewhere then when I got home she would be normal.so it was hard to pinpoint things due that they would take place then she would act if nothing happend.so when I would say hey would you like to talk about what you said.her response was I thought we were already past that.

[fromheeltoheal]

Yes, I understand.  One upside of having an unstable sense of self and making feelings facts, like borderlines do, is that you're always living in the now.  My ex would say the most horrendous things to me and then act like everything was perfect not long after, after she'd purged, like it never happened, but of course things I'd said got stored away in the devaluation database for use as needed later.

Having a child with her complicates things, and I'm sorry you're going through that Hostage.  One motivation that comes to mind is borderlines, who are always in fear of abandonment, might step up the devaluation when you leave, so you'll feel so badly about yourself you won't hook up with someone else and come back, a hail Mary attempt at abandonment avoidance, pathetic but hard to see when we're immersed in it.  Take care of you!

[neverloveagain]

Mine never said that to me. But my BPDexgf waif did say she was cursed with a mind that plays tricks on her and everyone leaves her in the end.