She is having a good time with my replacement tonight, feeling down.

[antonio1213]

Well I never thought I would see this day come. I always knew that there was something wrong with her and our r/s, but the way she told me she loved me and needed me in her life made me think she would never leave me and immediately replace me. But here I am on Vallentines day 4.5 months after the b/u, and 4.5 months of strict no contact. It sucks being lonely. And I am starting to miss her again, despite the absolutely terrible, insane, crazy things she has done. Even though she made me crazy when I was with her, and I knew that something was very wrong with her, I still miss her.

She has been with him for probably close to 3.5 months I would guess and she seems a lot happier without me "holding her back". Though my replacements' parents don't like her that doesn't make me feel any better. Still hurts to know that she doesn't think of me or care. She hasn't even tried to contact me since Decemeber. No recycle or anything. Anyone else feeling kind of down?

[Ripped Heart]

Antonio, I know today is a day of all days is a triggering day for many of us that are fresh out of BPD relationships but don't be too hard on yourself 

It's ok to miss the other person and it's ok to remember those good times as well as the crazy or insane times too. We all have those moments where we miss the good things and it's important to remember the bad times.

We kind of get lost a little on days like this where we think what a wonderful time they must be having with a replacement but more often the truth of the matter is that they aren't and maybe going through a lot of inner turmoil themselves. Many people on here talk about being triggered by seeing how happy they are with on FB with a replacement but that's all external.

I know from my exBPDgf she posted on FB the same messages about me as all those who came before me and everything still ended the same way. Today of all days, we have a gift, a gift of freedom from the craziness, a gift of spending today being who we want to be and as happy as we want to be. Maybe someone else is trying to fill that void or going through the same insanity we once did, but we are free from it to be who we want to be.

It doesn't stop us from feeling lonely at times or from missing the person we once thought we were with but we are free of the craziness and that can be something to celebrate today knowing that maybe next year we can have the opportunity to spend this day with someone special who thinks about us the same as we think about them and that must be something to look forward to 

[NYMike]

I am feeling a lot of the same things.She has went back and recycled her ex-boyfriend.So I get it Antonio.

Are they really having a good time.?... .Hmmmmmmmmmmm

In the moment I am sure they are.Will this be long lasting.?... Not a chance.If you look at the history of my ex(which I failed to look at early) her whole life has been rocky and shakey relationships.Her whole life has been a complete train wreck with relationships.So I don't think they are ever really happy.It is a matter of time before this blows up and the drama starts for her again.Sad but so true.

She is back with her ex and she recycled him.There is weed,alcohol and cocaine involved now.If you add that into the mix with BPD Issues,there is no happiness long term.

Hang in there and try not to be to Obsessive TO MUCH.Keep letting go and working towards acceptance.I am right with you.We ended in December and she has made no attempt to call but one time.All I got was hate and anger and PROJECTION.LOL...

[downwhim]

It has been 4 1/2 months for me and I am trying very hard to stay busy today cleaning my garage and preparing for a sale. I am moving because I am within 2 miles of him and we have had no contact at all except for me freaking out and calling him a week ago re: my computer issues. Wish I hadn't called. He was cruel to me so I wish I did not think about him and miss him. It is sick I know but we all go through this heavy addiction.

I am more lonely than I have ever been. Today I kind of HATE HIM! How he can be so cold and b/u via email? An engagement not just dating  - a long term relationship. He probably found someone on POF or match. Those are his favorite sites. Good for him. The way I feel on this Valentine's Day is I hope he catches an STD! Sorry, just feeling bitter and needed to vent.

[Targeted]

I am surprisingly unaffected today!

[mywifecrazy]

Give it time brother. You WILL heal and be a healthier person for going through your ordeal. You will also be much wiser

Like the person before me mentioned, I too am surprisingly unaffected today and my crazy X is across the street living with my neighbor  But you know what? I went through all the pain and hurt of being abandoned and tossed aside like I was a piece of trash and now I fully understand that it wasn't me... .she is just a sick person and she will never get better. She is who she is. She gave me a great gift by cheating on me and leaving. Now I am free to live my life as I choose to be happy with who I am first and if I'm blessed to get into another relationship you bet your ass that I will be in a healthy relationship or I will not be in a relationship. I have boundaries now and I will Pay attention to any     That are waived in my direction.

I don't know if I would call what your ex is doing with her relationship as having a good time. If she truly is BPD she is only casting her spell and spinning her web to Deceive this relationship into rescuing her thus trapping himself... .I don't call that a good time… Do you?

MWC... .

[sirensong65]

Amazingly, I am pretty unaffected today as well.  I don't know, I guess I have really just rationalized that today was JUST ANOTHER DAY.  It's almost over and then what?  If it is anything like his track record before this gal, this will come crashing down sooner or later.  I could care less what they did today and what he got her cause I know there is nothing REAL behind it.  Just the smoke and mirrors I got.

Always remember, these people are attention whores.  They like for EVERYONE to see their life and envy.  They will NEVER show if things aren't rosy, unless they are in victim mode and feel that far outweighs showing their despair. 

As a matter of fact, I was too busy rehearsing my comedy routine as I am to do my first stand up performance next week.  Ad I turned MOST of the lemons of this experience into a funny comedy routine.  It has been very cathartic for me and it somehow feels like by doing this, I took my power back.

Stay strong, tomorrow is a few hours away... .