If you ever feel like you're the crazy one...

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

I originally built this collage as a way to explain to my parents, without forcing them to read 150 pages of court documents, how and why this affected me so much. It has been very difficult dealing with now multiple professionals mentioning post traumatic stress when I talk to them about my symptoms.

One of the biggest hurdles I face, like many of you, is that I believe I'm the crazy one. Very rarely do you run across other human beings who are this delusional, so your mind plays tricks on you to try and justify how you were treated. Sometimes your mind wanders far enough to place yourself at fault.

I've been feeling horrible this weekend, and anytime a thought pops into my mind that this is somehow all my fault or that I'm a terrible person or that I'm delusional, I bring up this collage to reassure myself that I was on the receiving end.

These are clippings of actual texts I've received.

I don't recommend clicking on this link if you're in a bad mood because this is basically ground zero for all of us.

i.imgur.com/RZUe8NT.jpg

I'm sure everyone has their own hurtful texts that they become emotional over, but I feel comfortable enough to show y'all mine, and maybe you'll find comfort in knowing you're not alone.

I don't know who the girl at the top is but she's cute so I added her in for artistic value.

[.cup.car]

I originally built this collage as a way to explain to my parents, without forcing them to read 150 pages of court documents, how and why this affected me so much. It has been very difficult dealing with now multiple professionals mentioning post traumatic stress when I talk to them about my symptoms.

One of the biggest hurdles I face, like many of you, is that I believe I'm the crazy one. Very rarely do you run across other human beings who are this delusional, so your mind plays tricks on you to try and justify how you were treated. Sometimes your mind wanders far enough to place yourself at fault.

I've been feeling horrible this weekend, and anytime a thought pops into my mind that this is somehow all my fault or that I'm a terrible person or that I'm delusional, I bring up this collage to reassure myself that I was on the receiving end.

These are clippings of actual texts I've received.

I don't recommend clicking on this link if you're in a bad mood because this is basically ground zero for all of us.

i.imgur.com/RZUe8NT.jpg

I'm sure everyone has their own hurtful texts that they become emotional over, but I feel comfortable enough to show y'all mine, and maybe you'll find comfort in knowing you're not alone.

I don't know who the girl at the top is but she's cute so I added her in for artistic value.

[mks10]

*Bro hugs* Sometimes I don't even know what to say when I read things like this. Mine just quit talking to me out of the blue and was only periodically mean to me but it was nothing like this.

[Infared]

It wasn't my fault. BPD's are mentally ill. You would have to be mentally ill to be as self-centered, vindictive, dishonest and outright cruel as mine was upon running off with new supply and after. You would have to be mentally ill to be able to rewrite the entire history of a relationship so that you could justify all of the horrible things that you were doing in the present. You would have to be mentally ill to manipulate everyone in your life by lying and playing victim. Mentally ill and maniacal. Downright evil.

I did come unglued. I did think that I was crazy and that perhaps I was this person who she was painting me to be so that she could play her new game. I started to crack around the edges in disbelief. ... .but I lived it. I faced it. I gradually let in that this was really happening.  I own and accept that this person is mentally ill and capable of extreme vindictive cruelty... .though no one else thinks that this is possible. They think she is sweet and a victim... .it's like some crazy horror movie.

I know how you feel. I know the truth. None of any of it was my fault. None of it. Was I perfect. No. Far from it.  ... .but I do not act like that... .I take a higher road.  A lonely road... ... .the sickest part is, mine took joy in her insane cruelty. I saw the the look on her face. I did not mistake that. I lived it. I did not imagine it. I KNOW what I saw.

All I can do is never let that monster near me again. All I can do is take care of me. I don't care what the rest of the world believes. They were deceived. Like me.

[cloudten]

Yes... .every day of my life I feel like I am the crazy one. bending over backwards only to be stonewalled by a cold, mean, heartless person. All of those texts could have been from my pwBPD. Was making that collage therapeutic for you? I should do the same thing. It's almost like a pro/con list that is straight/only from the BPD's mouth. He uses the c-word all the time. It is a huge trigger for me now. It is such a dirty word... .and used in the most horrible situations. Except he uses it all the time. It's 100% psychological abuse.

[DyingLove]

I originally built this collage as a way to explain to my parents, without forcing them to read 150 pages of court documents, how and why this affected me so much. It has been very difficult dealing with now multiple professionals mentioning post traumatic stress when I talk to them about my symptoms.

One of the biggest hurdles I face, like many of you, is that I believe I'm the crazy one. Very rarely do you run across other human beings who are this delusional, so your mind plays tricks on you to try and justify how you were treated. Sometimes your mind wanders far enough to place yourself at fault.

I've been feeling horrible this weekend, and anytime a thought pops into my mind that this is somehow all my fault or that I'm a terrible person or that I'm delusional, I bring up this collage to reassure myself that I was on the receiving end.

These are clippings of actual texts I've received.

I don't recommend clicking on this link if you're in a bad mood because this is basically ground zero for all of us.

i.imgur.com/RZUe8NT.jpg

I'm sure everyone has their own hurtful texts that they become emotional over, but I feel comfortable enough to show y'all mine, and maybe you'll find comfort in knowing you're not alone.

I don't know who the girl at the top is but she's cute so I added her in for artistic value.

Your collage was excellent. I read it over very carefully. I could understand that you were the one who feels crazy and that's coming from somebody who thinks they are crazy also. But when I speak to somebody who is not BPD, and more on the normal side, I immediately change my demeanor to being back to normal kind of. Since we are broken up, and I am still under the same roof with her, I'm going through a different kind of crazy. And I'm very much alone here with no vehicle no friends, only Facebook this site and a few people that I text. Some of the things in your collage, in fact most of the things in your collage my BPDSO did not say, not that she didn't mean them and not that she didn't say them using other words. But in my case a lot of time she hit a low the belt and blindsided me many times. Very abusive in a small amount of words. A lot of the same words over and over in fact. I became very conditioned. Of course there is no talking to them, if you do the special BPD talk somehow they wiggle around it and get you being normal again and then attack you again. So crazy yes. Right now I'm watching a lot of inspirational videos. One of them being a speaker named Trent Shelton and he is excellent as far as breakups and getting your feedback on the ground I definitely recommend you check them out he's on YouTube. In fact I recommend anybody to listen. Another fellow is Joshua Eze. Good luck with everything, I've got several weeks and I'm out here, praise the Lord.