Ended a relationship, tried to keep it as friends, now she won't leave me alone

[IneedHelp84]

I don't know what to do. I'm at my wits end. This girl will not leave me alone. Things were great for a few months. I didn't realize she had BPD at the time. We've never actually met in person but I have shared images and videos of myself that are very private and could cause me a lot of harm both publicly and privately. I am married and she knew it. We agreed to keep things as friends only that we would never meet. Things started to get weird a few months ago but began getting really strange within the last few weeks. I've spoken with this woman since Oct and as of Jan things started to get weird and I've tried to back away. The minute I did that all heck broke lose and this woman only is interested in hurting me and my family. I don't know what to do. I don't want to call the police or involve anything like that, I just want her to leave me alone. Engaging her seems to be counter productive no matter what the topic. Ignoring her means she's trying to clamor for attention. She's seriously frightening me. I haven't been able to eat or sleep normally in a week. She tried to kill herself last week and since then it's been even worse. I spoke with a therapist who said she thinks she's got BPD big time. Suggested that I just disengage from her. The problem is I don't think she will stop. I have a friend of mine who has BPD and she thinks she can befriend her and try to get her to calm down and back off but do you guys think that's doable? Is there any suggestions you can give me to keep her away from me and my family?

[rj47]

Can you have a rational conversation with her that addresses the basis for your relationship? E-mail, phone, and, videos isn't much. I understand that she may think differently and might suggest obsessive/compulsive tendencies as an extension of her PD. That's not an area most here have experience with.

Perhaps if you keep her engaged in discussion gently trying to calm the situation over time while not validating feelings she thinks you might have; she will grow cold and lose interest in hurting you. Then again, I don't know the depth of your activities, but can relate. I developed deep feelings for a woman by phone, video and e-mail over nearly a year before traveling long distance to meet and find out how real it was for both of us. I got very  lucky. However, such connections rarely last. Others here can advise better than I, but maybe keep her talking and steer the conversation toward a soft landing.

A last resort option will be to get an Order of Protection or Restraining Order. Easy to obtain in most states and places you and your family off-limits for any kind of contact. If she's dysregulated enough, it won't stop her. If she's reasonably rational she might back off and leave you alone.

Good luck.