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Author Topic: My BPD bf broke up got engaged to his ex.no closure  (Read 557 times)
Kasina
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 142


« on: March 11, 2015, 06:25:11 PM »



Hello everyone,


My uBPD bf broke up with me its been a month sbd now hes engaged.we were in relationship for more than two years now and it's not the first time that he has done this with me.

I have been through it before he got engaged and trust me when I say it it was literally out if blue... one day we were hanging out and the next day I get to find out by his cousin that he's engaged and when I confronted him he said his father fixed it and he will try and break it off.i didn't know about BPD that well them so I believed him even though done felt off.

Anyways fast fwd 3 months he broke up with her to and reconnected with me and I took him back.(we were friends while he was engaged ).

After that things went well but there were few signs that something was off but then everything changed,it felt like he changed.our relationship improved we started to connect and got really close that's when he proposed me and I said yes.

After two months if engagement he started to acting off.he told me that an old ex has contacted him and is in need of help.i asked him politely validating that he should keep his distance from her but he was feeling very bad as ahe was hospitalized and was in pain.

He said he was feeling in the verge of a nervous breakdown because he said he was feeling responsible for her misery... I tried to sooth him and after a few days time he was ok.

Afterwards he confessed that he was dysregulated and a different state of mind I tried to give him space but even then he was loving and affectionate and we were really good.

Then I got a little caught up in chores my sisters wedding where my brother in laws best men was my ex.i never neglecting him for a bit but I realized that it caused a trigger inside him and he started to act really clingy... I didn't panicked or pushe him away instead I tried to be loving and all.

Things were ok when all of sudden he started to pull away from me and while that period I had to go out if town for two days to which I felt that he did feel abandoned but never admitted it to me ... I felt it and stayed 24/7 in contact with him to avoid any abandonment issues.

But all un vain,just after a week if silence after me getting back to town he broke up telling me that I m better off without him and he needs to be alone.hebsaud he can't make me happy as he's pathetic so he needs to suffer alone.

I tried to validate him and tried to communicate but he just won't listen the very next day he deleated me from fb ... I tried giving him space by letting him know I wasn't  leaving .

Apogized profusely ... but nothing changed...

Then one day he again communicated with me telling me to respond to my proposals and try to settle and if I fail to settle with anyone else he will accept me if no one else did...

He said that he's pathetic secluded and ducked up while I am pretty and social .i have for so many options.when I pressed that I still wanted to he with him he said 'you just can't now'.

All rhe time I felt that it was all due to intimacy issue and probably he felt rejected and abandoned so I tried to make up to him but now finding out that he's getting engaged to this ex of his(he was with her for 5 months only)I know all about it and he wasn't really in to her even while he was dating her.i know all about it because it was before we were in a relationship and were just friends .

So what happened now?he has been engaged thrice before me and disnt married any of them cause they were all short impulsive flings ...

I really love him and so does he,it's been almost 2 and half year if us being together .is there anything I can do?i want him back I can't picture my life without him.

Can you please give any idea what caused it?

Will he be back?

What would  be the right thing to do?
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