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Author Topic: Broke NC,but gave me closure  (Read 466 times)
ImGoingCrazy

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 22


« on: March 21, 2015, 12:07:30 PM »

Its been a week NC... .HE Called me today 4 times , but i didn't answer , then sent me an sms :

HIM: Why did you block me from everything ?

ME:  Because it`s over... .

HIM: I didn`t even behave like a stalker or something for you to do that .

HIM: You mean it`s over like forever ? There is no chance?

ME: Being a lot more calm and by looking back i`ve came in the conclusion that i don`t want to recycle anymore this relationship.

HIM: okkk... .do you want your stuff? there is a blouse or two of them in my house... .

ME: You can throw them away , i don`t wear them anymore ... .

HIM: okk... .i don`t understand all this anger you have against me but anyways ... .with all my purity i thank u for being honest and i wish u all the luck in life... .remember , in life ... .even if u had me or another , remember to respect your life priorities first... .if you do this you will see how enjoyable real life would be ... .good luck IMgoingCRAZY , i love you

ME: I just wish u to be happy , since i couldn't  make u one... .good luck

HIM: You were the only thing that made me happy , but it was not the same for you... .


I know its been only 5 months with this guy but it was so intense and that's what makes me feel so depressed right now and i miss him as hell , but when i remind all the absurd world he lived in i can`t imagine myself going back ... .

i truly did everything to make him happy , but he couldn't see that and i don't know why , i ignored my friends , forgot to do the things is used to do , i got accused soo many times about not loving him and not caring about him that it just drove me crazy... .

he was a clever guy , talented , intelligent , handsome as hell , sexy body , warm heart and very caring ... .at the other side he was this dark monster called BPD (not diagnosed but has alllll the traits )... .

do they ever recover if they get therapy? i just wish him to recover and have  a normal life ... .

meanwhile i dont know how to overcome the depression im in right now ... .yesterday my friends (thankfully i didnt lost eventho i didnt met them ) , we went at a party , i was good but i couldnt enjoy it , i just kept seeing all those people , they looked so fake , and i feel like i will never be happy without him , even he is toxic to me , i felt him so close ... .

i cant stop over thinking  




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Infern0
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1520


« Reply #1 on: March 21, 2015, 06:47:20 PM »

That's not closure,  it's a prelude to a recycle attempt
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hurting300
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1292



« Reply #2 on: March 21, 2015, 08:26:46 PM »

Its been a week NC... .HE Called me today 4 times , but i didn't answer , then sent me an sms :

HIM: Why did you block me from everything ?

ME:  Because it`s over... .

HIM: I didn`t even behave like a stalker or something for you to do that .

HIM: You mean it`s over like forever ? There is no chance?

ME: Being a lot more calm and by looking back i`ve came in the conclusion that i don`t want to recycle anymore this relationship.

HIM: okkk... .do you want your stuff? there is a blouse or two of them in my house... .

ME: You can throw them away , i don`t wear them anymore ... .

HIM: okk... .i don`t understand all this anger you have against me but anyways ... .with all my purity i thank u for being honest and i wish u all the luck in life... .remember , in life ... .even if u had me or another , remember to respect your life priorities first... .if you do this you will see how enjoyable real life would be ... .good luck IMgoingCRAZY , i love you

ME: I just wish u to be happy , since i couldn't  make u one... .good luck

HIM: You were the only thing that made me happy , but it was not the same for you... .


I know its been only 5 months with this guy but it was so intense and that's what makes me feel so depressed right now and i miss him as hell , but when i remind all the absurd world he lived in i can`t imagine myself going back ... .

i truly did everything to make him happy , but he couldn't see that and i don't know why , i ignored my friends , forgot to do the things is used to do , i got accused soo many times about not loving him and not caring about him that it just drove me crazy... .

he was a clever guy , talented , intelligent , handsome as hell , sexy body , warm heart and very caring ... .at the other side he was this dark monster called BPD (not diagnosed but has alllll the traits )... .

do they ever recover if they get therapy? i just wish him to recover and have  a normal life ... .

meanwhile i dont know how to overcome the depression im in right now ... .yesterday my friends (thankfully i didnt lost eventho i didnt met them ) , we went at a party , i was good but i couldnt enjoy it , i just kept seeing all those people , they looked so fake , and i feel like i will never be happy without him , even he is toxic to me , i felt him so close ... .

i cant stop over thinking  


Ok, so you broke up with him but expect him to give you closure? You broke up with him and blocked him. Shouldn't you be more open to giving him closure? And please explain because I'm confused.
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In the eye for an eye game, he who cares least, wins. I, for one. am never stepping into the ring with someone who is impulsive and doesn't think of the downstream consequences.
HappyNihilist
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1012



WWW
« Reply #3 on: March 21, 2015, 08:39:12 PM »

I'm so sorry you're feeling depressed and confused. 

meanwhile i dont know how to overcome the depression im in right now ... .yesterday my friends (thankfully i didnt lost eventho i didnt met them ) , we went at a party , i was good but i couldnt enjoy it , i just kept seeing all those people , they looked so fake , and i feel like i will never be happy without him , even he is toxic to me , i felt him so close ... .

i cant stop over thinking  

You're not far out of the relationship... .depression and overthinking are natural parts of the detaching and grieving process.

Look at the Five Stages of Detachment on the right sidebar. ====>

The important thing right now is to acknowledge and work with your feelings. Start reframing in terms of yourself instead of your ex.

i feel like i will never be happy without him , even he is toxic to me

Take this statement, for instance. You recognize that the relationship isn't healthy for you. Start probing into that. Look at the ways in which he is "toxic" to you. How does that make you feel? Why do you feel like only he can make you happy?
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borderdude
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic Partner
Posts: 295



« Reply #4 on: March 21, 2015, 11:14:20 PM »

I see my BPD ex once a week, she is always looking for a backup , does not matter if she is engaged in a rs or not, it will last forever i think.
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Loosestrife
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 612



« Reply #5 on: March 22, 2015, 03:32:04 AM »

I see my BPD ex once a week, she is always looking for a backup , does not matter if she is engaged in a rs or not, it will last forever i think.

How do you move on?
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borderdude
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic Partner
Posts: 295



« Reply #6 on: March 22, 2015, 04:15:52 AM »

I see my BPD ex once a week, she is always looking for a backup , does not matter if she is engaged in a rs or not, it will last forever i think.

How do you move on?

Yes sir, dating new women, and healed from the fog. We work in the same building , so I see her one day a week. Have no feelings for her, other than little worries , but more like the ones you would direct towards your kids or similar.At least  she seems to pick nice guys, not the case in the past according to her. Anyway thanks for the reply.

-how I did move on?

It is beatifully simple. If a dog finds a better bone , it drops the old for an uppgrade to the better one. We are constructed to feel for one person at the time. Go find yourself a single club, and get used to the idea there are better options out there, loving cearing healthy women living in the real world. You deserve the best, because you are a nice loving person yourself.


Other than this , she has done and acted very stupid, immature, a reminder that she does need help, not a rs with me. It is not a short process, it needs continuous working, but you must involve all aspects of your being.

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bpdguy

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Posts: 14


« Reply #7 on: March 24, 2015, 12:53:45 PM »

Its been a week NC... .HE Called me today 4 times , but i didn't answer , then sent me an sms :

HIM: Why did you block me from everything ?

ME:  Because it`s over... .

HIM: I didn`t even behave like a stalker or something for you to do that .

HIM: You mean it`s over like forever ? There is no chance?

ME: Being a lot more calm and by looking back i`ve came in the conclusion that i don`t want to recycle anymore this relationship.

HIM: okkk... .do you want your stuff? there is a blouse or two of them in my house... .

ME: You can throw them away , i don`t wear them anymore ... .

HIM: okk... .i don`t understand all this anger you have against me but anyways ... .with all my purity i thank u for being honest and i wish u all the luck in life... .remember , in life ... .even if u had me or another , remember to respect your life priorities first... .if you do this you will see how enjoyable real life would be ... .good luck IMgoingCRAZY , i love you

ME: I just wish u to be happy , since i couldn't  make u one... .good luck

HIM: You were the only thing that made me happy , but it was not the same for you... .


I know its been only 5 months with this guy but it was so intense and that's what makes me feel so depressed right now and i miss him as hell , but when i remind all the absurd world he lived in i can`t imagine myself going back ... .

i truly did everything to make him happy , but he couldn't see that and i don't know why , i ignored my friends , forgot to do the things is used to do , i got accused soo many times about not loving him and not caring about him that it just drove me crazy... .

he was a clever guy , talented , intelligent , handsome as hell , sexy body , warm heart and very caring ... .at the other side he was this dark monster called BPD (not diagnosed but has alllll the traits )... .

do they ever recover if they get therapy? i just wish him to recover and have  a normal life ... .

meanwhile i dont know how to overcome the depression im in right now ... .yesterday my friends (thankfully i didnt lost eventho i didnt met them ) , we went at a party , i was good but i couldnt enjoy it , i just kept seeing all those people , they looked so fake , and i feel like i will never be happy without him , even he is toxic to me , i felt him so close ... .

i cant stop over thinking  


Im BPD and he sounds like me in many ways, the qualities i consider myself to have- except my life itself is a joke and he is probably a success on the surface. Don't know how toxic he is or what he did to you- weigh up the good and bad. One thing i note you probably will not get as much loving from a non BPD- yes this might be healthier in the long run and in life in general I guess.

All BPDs are different- I diagnosed myself as a sufferer a few weeks ago. No doubt therapy improved me 5 years ago- I can acknowledge that I am a far better in terms of my anger issues than I ever have been. Many people report that symptoms subside in their 30s. Much Love x
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