90 days of No Contact completed. And life is much better...

[FrenchConnection]

First off, i want to thank everyone on the board for their stories and support and their honesty about their experiences.  My relationship with a BPD woman was brief and only lasted 9 months, during which we had 3 recycles.

At the end of our relationship, which was the end of December 2014, i was fully convinced of her having BPD.  I began reading on this board (even before December) and bought 2 books on the subject which helped me tremendously on understanding this disorder and what i was up against.  

I decided to accept a challenge that was posted here on this board about going 90 days no contact.  I accepted this challenge in order to put the center back on me and my well being.  The relationship had left me shipwrecked and completely defeated in every way.  

90 days of no contact helped me slowly but surely take the time to re-adjust the focus of life back on me.  It was hard both in the beginning and towards the end (and all the way through in the middle).  But week by week and then month by month i gained control back of my life.  My heart slowly found its way out of the ashes and carnage of the broken relationship.  I began to find a new respect for myself and somewhere on the horizon i began to see a better life that could be.  What should be.  What will surely come.  

I felt lonely.  I still do at times.  But little by little those dark clouds of depression and hurt lifted and i swear i can see the sun breaking through now.  And i know that blue sky is waiting behind; its already starting to show through.  There is no magic in going 90 days of no contact.  It's just a number.  But 3 months is a good amount of time.  It's enough to move the focus back into proper perspective.  Enough time to start the repairs to the shipwreck of what was my life.  And today i can honestly tell you i am stronger, better, and wiser because of this experience.  It's time now to get off this shipwrecked island.  My sails may still be small and battered, but i feel ready to set sail again.  I feel there is a new wind blowing.  My destiny is out there.  I'm not afraid to move on.

If you have decided to end a relationship with a BPD person then i challenge you to go 90 days of no contact with them (and beyond).  It's time you take your life back.

Thanks everyone!  Could not have done it without you... .

[Loosestrife]

Thanks for sharing, glad you are getting through this 

[Plonko]

Well done mate. 90 days is good and the first 90 are the hardest by far in my experience.

I've now been NC since July and am in a new relationship with a great girl and life is good.

I'm now at the stage where I feel that I've come out of the experience of a dBPDgf as a stronger, better person. Before you know it you'll be where I am, it's great.

[fred6]

You think the 1st 90 is good. Go another 90 and see how you feel 

[FrenchConnection]

You think the 1st 90 is good. Go another 90 and see how you feel 

Fred, i accept!