Nearly Catatonic States after sex/ or drinking/ or at random

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hey guys. Look this isn't really anything about anything recent. I wanted to make a thread about this for a long time but one of the experiences I'm going to describe is very personal, and it pains me to remember. But I need to know if anyone has experienced this.

There would be times that my ex would enter into nearly a catatonic state temporarily. I am going to outline two experiences I had, you might find this disturbing to read. If you wish to not read further, that's fine.

1. We were vacationing together for 2 days alone at one of my family's properties. We had some wine (don't worry we weren't driving anywhere!), we usually liked to have some wine together. My ex was a small girl, maybe 5'5 120 pounds (she's considerably larger now), and she might have had too much to drink, but it really wasn't that much. She's sitting on a chair in the common room, she gets up and makes her way to the bed. On her way there, something must have hit her foot. When she finally haphazardly gets in the bed with my help, she's not really drunk, here's what happened: She lays in the bed, making these moaning noises non stop, they weren't loud. I tried very hard to talk to her. I was very concerned. There was no communicating with my ex. She just kept moaning and finally after about 10 minutes or so of constantly trying to get her to say something, she points at her foot, I ask her "Is your foot hurt?" She just blankly stares and nods at me. This was not the first experience I had with my ex going almost catatonic. I don't know how else to describe it, she just kept quietly moaning for what seemed like forever and I just couldn't get her to say anything at all. And this was long after she stopped drinking. I'd seen her drink wine before and nothing like that before had happened. The next day I asked her if she remembered anything at all about the moaning, she remembered nothing.  So I just laid there next to her, made sure she was alright, then finally she passes out. This would not be the last time I saw my ex do this.

2. The first time I've seen my ex do this. My girlfriend and I just finished having sex. Fine, I said it. Nothing out of the ordinary, except when I'm sitting back upright getting ready to put my shorts back on, I look back and there's my ex just laying there clearly in some sort of pain, sort of wiggling about and squinting. Of course we had had sex many times and this experience was really no different than any other one until this point. As I sit back down, I begin to panic as my ex is just clearly in pain, again (like the experience above) making these barely audible groans of pain. I keep trying to talk to my ex "Are you alright?" And she is not responding to a word I say. And so there I am, horrified. There's this completely naked girl in front of me clearly in some sort of pain and not responding at all to anything I say to her. After about 10 minutes of this, I finally say "I'm calling an ambulance!" and finally she looks at me and says "I'm ok!", to which I respond "are you sure", she just said "yes." Then I tried to keep talking to her but she went back to moaning and being unresponsive. This episode lasted for 45 minutes (I timed it) before she began responding to me again, and she went and got some water.

I have been scared in my life before, but I don't think anything on Earth had quite prepared me for these experiences. I've never seen someone completely zone out right before my eyes. Now my ex did recall the second event happening later on, so she had memory of it. But she could never give me an explanation as to what she had felt, or why she couldn't talk to me.


What was going on here? Has anyone else here experienced this? Is this a BPD side effect or something else?



Reece

[Reecer1588]

Hey guys. Look this isn't really anything about anything recent. I wanted to make a thread about this for a long time but one of the experiences I'm going to describe is very personal, and it pains me to remember. But I need to know if anyone has experienced this.

There would be times that my ex would enter into nearly a catatonic state temporarily. I am going to outline two experiences I had, you might find this disturbing to read. If you wish to not read further, that's fine.

1. We were vacationing together for 2 days alone at one of my family's properties. We had some wine (don't worry we weren't driving anywhere!), we usually liked to have some wine together. My ex was a small girl, maybe 5'5 120 pounds (she's considerably larger now), and she might have had too much to drink, but it really wasn't that much. She's sitting on a chair in the common room, she gets up and makes her way to the bed. On her way there, something must have hit her foot. When she finally haphazardly gets in the bed with my help, she's not really drunk, here's what happened: She lays in the bed, making these moaning noises non stop, they weren't loud. I tried very hard to talk to her. I was very concerned. There was no communicating with my ex. She just kept moaning and finally after about 10 minutes or so of constantly trying to get her to say something, she points at her foot, I ask her "Is your foot hurt?" She just blankly stares and nods at me. This was not the first experience I had with my ex going almost catatonic. I don't know how else to describe it, she just kept quietly moaning for what seemed like forever and I just couldn't get her to say anything at all. And this was long after she stopped drinking. I'd seen her drink wine before and nothing like that before had happened. The next day I asked her if she remembered anything at all about the moaning, she remembered nothing.  So I just laid there next to her, made sure she was alright, then finally she passes out. This would not be the last time I saw my ex do this.

2. The first time I've seen my ex do this. My girlfriend and I just finished having sex. Fine, I said it. Nothing out of the ordinary, except when I'm sitting back upright getting ready to put my shorts back on, I look back and there's my ex just laying there clearly in some sort of pain, sort of wiggling about and squinting. Of course we had had sex many times and this experience was really no different than any other one until this point. As I sit back down, I begin to panic as my ex is just clearly in pain, again (like the experience above) making these barely audible groans of pain. I keep trying to talk to my ex "Are you alright?" And she is not responding to a word I say. And so there I am, horrified. There's this completely naked girl in front of me clearly in some sort of pain and not responding at all to anything I say to her. After about 10 minutes of this, I finally say "I'm calling an ambulance!" and finally she looks at me and says "I'm ok!", to which I respond "are you sure", she just said "yes." Then I tried to keep talking to her but she went back to moaning and being unresponsive. This episode lasted for 45 minutes (I timed it) before she began responding to me again, and she went and got some water.

I have been scared in my life before, but I don't think anything on Earth had quite prepared me for these experiences. I've never seen someone completely zone out right before my eyes. Now my ex did recall the second event happening later on, so she had memory of it. But she could never give me an explanation as to what she had felt, or why she couldn't talk to me.


What was going on here? Has anyone else here experienced this? Is this a BPD side effect or something else?



Reece

[jhkbuzz]

Perhaps it was some type of dissociative episode?

[raisins3142]

They get overwhelmed and space out and disassociate easily.  Also, silent treatment or internalized rage.

Some unhappy mix of those.

Mine would go into semi robot mode sometimes with expressionless face and dead eyes.  It is very hard to be around someone like that.  It tends to make you think something has made them upset with you.

[jhkbuzz]

They get overwhelmed and space out and disassociate easily.  Also, silent treatment or internalized rage.

Some unhappy mix of those.

Mine would go into semi robot mode sometimes with expressionless face and dead eyes.  It is very hard to be around someone like that.  It tends to make you think something has made them upset with you.

"Expressionless face and dead eyes" sounds like Jeffrey Young's "detached protector".  What the original poster described sound more dissociative... .

[rg1976]

I've experienced something similar. These were episodes where she we would be talking about something or if she was emotional about something, she would zone out and seem to lose consciousness.

The episodes lasted from 20 to 40 minutes and afterwards she wouldn't want to talk about it at all.

Yes, it was very bvery scary. I just tried to be present and make sure she was breathing and etc.

Since there was no injury and it didn't happen outside of a highly emotional state, I didn't think it was a seizure, so...   I don't know. It is what it is, but yeah, it freaked me out.

[Reecer1588]

Perhaps it was some type of dissociative episode?

Possibly a dissociative episode. My ex also when she got very emotional would not weep or cry. She'd just sit there quietly. In fact i never really saw my ex

Cry,

She said "she didn't want me to see," but now i think it's because she really didn't cry.

I saw some

Tears sometimes and that was all.

[Reecer1588]

I've experienced something similar. These were episodes where she we would be talking about something or if she was emotional about something, she would zone out and seem to lose consciousness.

The episodes lasted from 20 to 40 minutes and afterwards she wouldn't want to talk about it at all.

Yes, it was very bvery scary. I just tried to be present and make sure she was breathing and etc.

Since there was no injury and it didn't happen outside of a highly emotional state, I didn't think it was a seizure, so...   I don't know. It is what it is, but yeah, it freaked me out.

That's almost eery to read because the time frame is some similar to mine. Also our reactions to the events are eerily similar. The fact that even these stories I wrote on this thread find similar stories is yet another sign pointing to my ex being mentally ill

[downwhim]

I believe my ex went into a dissociative state once too. He went to get his hair cut. He said he did not remember going in there and finally woke up in the chair after his hair was done.

He also had black eyes. Especially when he raged.