Two weeks since I left the state.

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Hi,

I've been involved with a younger woman for a year and half in San Diego. She became violent in Octobet 2014 but I took her back. I moved out my partner of 18 years to have her move in in November. She was OK for a while except for mood swings and boundary issues with other men, which I thought we were working on. In Februrary she became extremely violent and I'd planned to leave, but took her back. Ten days later she did it again. This time I left the state. She talked me back. I came back and vowed that I'd call the police if she threatened me or my dogs again. She did within a few days. She got arrested, and I got a restraining order. I even saw her again after that, but she decompensated and I got her outside and wouldn't let her back in. She went to some dude's house instead of going home and terrorized me the whole next day with crazy calls, texts, and blaming me for ruining her life. I drove North and kept going. Now in a new city, depressed, in withdrawal and seeking support and employment. Going to SLAA and readin g some books like Betrayal Bond and Essential Guide for the Family for BPD. But this is hard, real hard. I keep wanting to reach out to her.

My therapist told me that I have "features" of BPD because I'm in anxiety about abandonment. I don't have the disorder, but the interplay between us made it the situation that it is today.

Looking for support.

Thanks

-d

[RobinHood]

Hi,

I've been involved with a younger woman for a year and half in San Diego. She became violent in Octobet 2014 but I took her back. I moved out my partner of 18 years to have her move in in November. She was OK for a while except for mood swings and boundary issues with other men, which I thought we were working on. In Februrary she became extremely violent and I'd planned to leave, but took her back. Ten days later she did it again. This time I left the state. She talked me back. I came back and vowed that I'd call the police if she threatened me or my dogs again. She did within a few days. She got arrested, and I got a restraining order. I even saw her again after that, but she decompensated and I got her outside and wouldn't let her back in. She went to some dude's house instead of going home and terrorized me the whole next day with crazy calls, texts, and blaming me for ruining her life. I drove North and kept going. Now in a new city, depressed, in withdrawal and seeking support and employment. Going to SLAA and readin g some books like Betrayal Bond and Essential Guide for the Family for BPD. But this is hard, real hard. I keep wanting to reach out to her.

My therapist told me that I have "features" of BPD because I'm in anxiety about abandonment. I don't have the disorder, but the interplay between us made it the situation that it is today.

Looking for support.

Thanks

-d