Take a min to Congratulate yourself

[Sunfl0wer]

Hey guys! 

I thought it important to begin a thread that celebrates our growth and achievements this week. (Or recent whenever) I hope you will join me!

^{One of the things I miss about not having a(n available) partner is that I cannot run home to tell someone the good news in my day, or even more mundane happenings.  I am finding that this is causing me to "overlook" many great things that are right there in front of me.  I'm figuring out ways to shift and maintain my focus, which is a process itself.}

Anyway... .

Please join me in sharing both big and little, recent achievements, related or unrelated to your r/s.

So, here goes... .

• Continued apartment search



• Changed his old room into my office (although, went in there to work last night, and realized there is no lamp :P)



• I completed a life events timeline, in preparation for T on Friday



• Set a new boundary in regards to interactions, and stuck with it



• Got out of bed yesterday

[StarOfTheSea]

This is a great thread idea, Sunfl0wer!

My achievements so far this week:

-having dinner with my roommate and her friends (good because I tend to isolate)

-pushing through work today even though I'd have rather stayed home sick.

-finally having the permanent crown placed on my tooth yesterday. (Why? Because the dentist freaks me out ... .plus that was a very expensive little piece of porcelain!)

-getting good news after a CT scan last week.

[ReclaimingMyLife]

Love this one too, Sunflower.  Thanks!  I celebrate and congratulate myself for TODAY:

* being a bad-ass NC warrior!  Reaching out for support instead of giving into feelings of doubt, fear, regret and remorse

* finding this website today, immediately making an intro, reading, learning, and participating (part of that reaching out)

* finally having a context for the r/s and b/u that has been so confounding in every way

* feeling human again and like I can breathe (as a result of this website)

* not ruminating about him all freaking day (again, the result of what I am learning here)

* unpacking the boxes left over from a move in January that I had to make as a result of exBPDbf

* doing a great job at work today, having a clean house and cut grass - feels SO good

* feeling hopeful and confident! 

Thanks for letting me share this

[sun seeker]

  Hey sunF

You sound so much better . Very proud of you. Glad to hear you are geting out of bed. I remember saying to you how important it was for me to get out of bed. Seeing your post have a good vibe and hope is making me smile tonight. And trust me I need all the smiles I can have right now.

Yea I miss the morning (I love you hope your day is good) text. I sent these since I had a job and wake up at 5 am.My exdBPDgf  would call when she woke up.(I miss this too) . And as you said i  miss having a SO to tell about my day as well. The first few weeks after the break up something would happen good or bad. And I reach for my phone to call dexBPDgf  I would catch myself uuuuuuummmmmmm NOPE. then the im alone feeling would come crashing in.

Thankfully I dont miss any of these any more cause I can cll friends and family instead. I still do miss her at times but less and less all the time.

   Achievements:

  I just learned tonight  I have the highest grade in my class . ( the year of the soul sucker and I still held it toghether)

  My boss is giving me my own jobs to run.

I have learned to enjoy being alone( still not 100) most of the time.

Im being more social

Most importantly I dumbed  my dexBPDgf 

 

[Sunfl0wer]

Yeah us!  I like reading these posts!   

I'd like to continue... .

Today I had my first therapy session with new T!  Went better than I expected! :D

I cooked AND ate kale this week. (I often buy the bag of kale with healthy intentions, then it sits in fridge until it spoils)

I packed my lunch for work today.   

[Mr Hollande]

The biggest feeling of achievement I had was last year. It was less about actually overcoming the relationship and more  about my work place. I was at HQ for training. I go once a year and it's physically and mentally demanding. I was shaking like a leaf and not doing well at all. If anything has brought home the toll the relationship had taken it was this day. I had no confidence left and I was ready to book myself sick on the spot. The instructors who are fair but suffer no fools separated me from my crew the rest of the day and they really put me through my paces. Not with punitive intent but because I really needed the one on one tutoring. A long and very physically demanding day that had started badly gradually went better and better. For the final assessment I re joined my outfit and I passed.

Two things came out of the day. I understood that I'd taken a harder knock from a year of emotional trauma than I had realised and I also understood that I had passed the training against unfavourable odds due to my own will power and hard work. I was both mentally and physically exhausted to the point of being ready to cry. I realised that having survived the day there was little I can't do if I really make the effort. I felt an enormous sense of pride that day.

As for recent and perhaps more tangible progress life goes on. I get on with life and although she's in my head it's less and less while my current gf gradually moves into my life. I have my work, I have my creativity, I have someone I love and who loves me, I have my friends and I have my plans for the future which my gf is becoming more and more a part of. The wounds are there but everyday life seems to mend them over time. It's not perfect but I think I'm doing OK. In a month it'll be exactly a year since the relationship ended.

[mitatsu]

i made it through another week and i'm getting stronger the down times are becoming less and i'm finding my old self inc boundrys back (i've been approached by what i think of as 'predator' females who are very forward without knowing me and i've been able to rebuff them with ease as thats not my bag the old needy me used to be desperate for any attention when feeling down)

oh and i've started training my body again as i know my mind has to follow it 

[ReclaimingMyLife]

Yea for everyone!  Love your success story, Mitatsu!  Sunflower, good job on therapy.  I booked my first appt with new therapist for a week from today.  Looking forward to it.

BIG NEWS:  my UxBPDbf has not contacted me in TWELVE days!

This is the longest he has gone since b/u.  I have not responded since mid-January so am very hopeful he will keep it going

[mitatsu]

Yea for everyone!  Love your success story, Mitatsu!  Sunflower, good job on therapy.  I booked my first appt with new therapist for a week from today.  Looking forward to it.

BIG NEWS:  my UxBPDbf has not contacted me in TWELVE days!

This is the longest he has gone since b/u.  I have not responded since mid-January so am very hopeful he will keep it going

 Go Rml ! we are all on a healing path and we know if one of us trips up many hands will be there to lift us back up 

[ReclaimingMyLife]

Thank you, Mitatsu.  Your cheering me on feels good!

Proud of you too

[DyingLove]

EXCELLENT THREAD SUNFLOWER!

Today I:

-Slept decently during the wee hours of the morning. Only 6 bathroom trips and minimum tossing and turning.

- Didn't feel TOO much pain due to my pinched nerve

- Didn't cough as much from the remnants of the cold/flu I have/had.

- Was able to stand up pretty much most of the day without too much fatigue.

- Was able to eat full meals, but unfortunately I over ate somewhat.

- Was able to see and greet two people today without breaking into tears or choking up "too much".

- Am still sitting at my computer working and it's already 5:45p eastern.

- Am able to type without "too much" excessive hand/wrist pain from pinched nerve. (it's a killer)

- Am looking forward to spending the evening alone (what else is new) and enjoying more of the TV series FRINGE.

- Am thankful to God for taking me back and carrying me thru what I'm going thru, have gone thru, and what I will go thru.

- Am thankful for EVERYONE that has been part of my journey, good and bad, and thankful for the people instrumental in coming to Florida and rescuing me from my ex.

- :-)

[Smileypants]

I got an additional job doing something I love that will give me more income to support my children & closer to freedom.

Got the bank to lower the payments on my house (my lawyer said he has no rights to it because I inherited it from my dad -another win) & another step closer.

Spending more time with my wonderful, smart, loving, creative, fun kids :-)

[DyingLove]

Got out of bed today.

Left the "place I live"

Enjoyed the sun and fresh air

Thankful for everyone that helps or loves me.


I hope to repeat tomorrow!

[StarOfTheSea]

Just wanted to share and breathe life back into this upbeat thread.

Today I:

-bought a very cool vintage bike off of Craigslist and installed a basket, lights, rack and bell. Hopefully moving more will help with my mood.

-I hardly ruminated at all about the exBPDbf. I was so happy that he was barely in my thoughts today. Total NC  truly is the path to effective healing. (and that includes no FB peeking.)

-found a card for my dad to remind him how much I love him and how important he is to me.

[downwhim]

Sunf, nice positive idea! Let's see... .

Made it to my sales meeting on time.

Got to see two friends I have not seen in a long time.

My dog was still alive when I got home (shih Tzu 15 years old... .) So got to be with her one more day - everyday is a gift.

Getting an offer on a home I listed tonight.

Talked to my best friend about my ex instead of sending him letter.

Enjoyed the sunshine by sitting outside and soaking it in.

Get to post here for support and to learn... .