So have been divorced 9 months + 1yr/5months separation from BPDxw I have only email contact if at all because of her abusive nature. I have not responded much to her bait and hooks to engage me.
However... .
After enough times I would like to unload on her about all (or at least the big ones) of her episodes of poor behavior and acting out. I have not sent it mostly because the children would take some heat because of me. Which is the main reason I keep my pie hole shut.
To her I am the bad one now and she can't believe she stayed or even married me
I would like to not ever have to deal with her verbal abuse again.
So... .Does it ever sink in a little bit? Or just continue NC as much as possible?
No contact as much as possible. It won't sink in even a little bit, and will do more harm than good. Remember they think in black and white. They have to think they are good people, otherwise their whole sense of their false self crumbles, and that would basically be emotional death for them. Without gray area, they can't realize that it's okay to have some faults. And since they have to view themselves as good people, the blame will go elsewhere, especially if you're the one in the vicinity telling them what's wrong with them.
So basically, it is a dream of a lot of us to be able to tell BPDs that we know who they are, but winning an argument against them is impossible with all of their mind games (lack of logic on their part), and just makes us feel horrible. So I would definitely recommend no contact.
