16 Months out...

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

So we broke up 16 months ago and no contact for 10 months.I admit I still think about her but I have moved on.

So today I get a text asking if I'm in a certain area on the freeway what the heck... . Obviously testing the waters I was nice and wished her a belated birthday which just passed and I stayed no contact.I figure I'm the only guy to ever just leave and not contact her so its driving her nuts.Anyways she said thank you and I didn't reply no point.Thanks for letting me vent.

[almosthadme]

So we broke up 16 months ago and no contact for 10 months.I admit I still think about her but I have moved on.

So today I get a text asking if I'm in a certain area on the freeway what the heck... . Obviously testing the waters I was nice and wished her a belated birthday which just passed and I stayed no contact.I figure I'm the only guy to ever just leave and not contact her so its driving her nuts.Anyways she said thank you and I didn't reply no point.Thanks for letting me vent.

[Chasing_Ghosts]

I know what you mean by you still think of her, im right there with you. But also as you said youve moved on... . this is something i feel more and more everyday. Its been 8 months since our recycle and 3 months NC which she recently tried to break about a month and half ago with some obvious projections towards herself aimed at me holding grudges and being hateful. I didnt respond and am keeping ghost(im sure she thinks much of the same as your ex does as theyre not used to guys not giving in and going off the radar so abruptly) I do commend you for your level of detachment and being at the point of responding without all the triggering, as if shes just another acquaintance. Good luck and keep doing you.

[Weno]

Hi guys, I am new to this site. My husband has been told by his therapist he has BPD and npd traits but not enough therapy time has been attended for a definitive diagnosis. He left nine months ago after thirty years. The issue is he has not really gone. Turns up every single week. We are on our fifth cycle of make a reconciliation plan, start, he drops the ball, I tell him to go, he makes another plan, and away we go again. Is this common? The BPD partner is unable to disengage? I am struggling myself, but the only time I had any peace was when I made a complete break. It lasted two days then he climbed fences, walked for ages to get to the front door as I live in a very rural area. Any suggestions as to how to handle things?

Also, do any BPD's manage to change their behaviour and have relatively healthy relationships? Does not seem to be much evidence of it happening. Thanks.

[almosthadme]

Thanks Chasing,I actually feel pretty darn good myself.I was in love with a person who never existed.I now just am kinda numb towards her and kinda feel sorry for her.I will admit it would be easier if she was not a solid 9.5 in the looks department but that is all she has.So I went out and found another 9.5 who seems to be all together but only time will tell.Keep staying no contact eventually you just will not care but it took me until just recently to get there and I feel better about myself... . I know it is said over and over but NO contact NO Stalking

[almosthadme]

Weno,you might want to start your own thread to get a response