Taking myself out of the drama triangle...

[Mustbeabetterway]

I have been wondering about being the "emotional leader" in my r/s with pwBPD.  I checked out this topic: 

   

stay on the path

« on: September 15, 2010, 04:49:22 PM »

Quote

It was helpful and detailed.  Staying on the path means I must accept the realities of my situation.  I am responsible for getting my needs met in appropriate and healthy ways.  I must hold others responsible for meeting their own needs in healthy ways.  To accomplish this I must stop my unhealthy caretaking habits and withdraw my participation in the drama triangle.

The reasons why I became a caretaker are becoming clearer.  This has taken a great deal of study on my part.  Sometimes I feel resentful of the amount of time I spend researching and studying, but it is making a difference in my life.  So I continue.

Recently, I have been looking closely at the dynamics in the Karpman Drama Triangle.  My husband and I and other family members have been cycling through these roles constantly for a long time.   Releasing my participation takes patience, resolve, strength, acceptance, etc. 

I previously felt a great deal of confusion.  I find that my confusion is my way of continuing denial.  If anyone is feeling an emotion they do not understand, I recommend checking out the "Feelings Wheel". It is an excellent tool to get to underlying emotions.  Google it and you will easily find it. 

Anyway, denial has been my MO.  If. I don't understand it, how can I change it, right?  Acceptance, instead of denial, has allowed me to step away from the drama triangle.  I am focusing on staying on my own path.  Accepting my situation has been painful, frustrating, sad, but also rewarding.  I am hopeful that I am moving toward the life that I want. 

Wanted to share my progress.  I hope this will be helpful to others who are involved with pwBPD.

Wishing you all peace and blesings.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[formflier]

 

It's great to try to see the role you are playing in a r/s... .at that point... .you can decided if you want to keep playing the role. 

Seeing yourself is step 1... .  nice work!   

[Mustbeabetterway]

Thanks, Formflier.  I am committed to the r/s.  Seeing my part has definitely helped me to stop making things worse.