new guy

[bordercollie]

My wife just got out of the hospital after about a 1 week stay for attempted suicide. We knew she was bipolar with anxiety disorder but while there they gave her the new diagnoses of BPD which fits her better than any other diagnoses. She s on meds and has counseling scheduled but already she has threatened suicide again and hates the fact that I've read ton s of lit in just the last week... .I had to call her parents to tonight. Either call or come pick her up or I'm calling the hotline... .My wife has an extreme version of this terrible problem. She is by far the most hateful person I have ever met. I'm considering a divorce but obviously I'm being discrete and even trying to make counseling work 1st. She a bad manipulater... .Denies it. Bad lier... .Denies it I want to help but it's such a toxic thing I'd like risking your life exploring a deep dark cave. Not sure it's worth it. Our finances are a mess with 2 houses,apts cars and a whole bunch of debt that I didn't have before we got married... .So that's me... .Been dealing with this since last June... .Fun fun. Meds meds meds. She very resistive... .Not sure if she'll do anything that the counselor s recommend... .We'll see. Thanks,

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[waverider]

Sorry to hear you are in such a mess.  Since you have been studying this Disorder I am sure you now realize you are not the only one who is, or has been through this.

Do you struggle to feel like you are even on the same team as your wife no matter what you do?

A lot of people arrive here thinking all is lost and there is no hope. Only the future can tell. What you can do in the meantime is try to make sense of this, and what you can, and cannot do. This is important whether you ultimately succeed or not. You need to know you got your side of the road in good order and not left wondering was there anything I could have done.

A good start is to work your way slowly through the Lessons to the right>>  and keep asking questions. Join in the discussions, there are a lot of light bulb moments to be discovered yet

Don't despair yet, there is still much you can do to at least get your mind in a safer place

Waverider

[bordercollie]

Well, I posted back in April that my wife tried to kill herself. She spent a week in the psych unit and when she got out she has steadily gotten worse. I told her I was going to have to separate for a while til she decided if she was going to start taking her meds, going to therapy, etc...  She came unglued and attacked me just two nights before I was moving out and called the police saying I beat her up. Now I'm fighting a felony battery case while she systematically robs me of everything. I'm living with a friend, I have to get rid of our dog. ( of 8 yrs) she has the houses, my car, and has an OP so that I can't even step foot in my own house. I'm trying to divorce her but she's not going to make it easy. She still entertains ideas that we will get back together after all of this. Wow!

[babyducks]

Hi bordercolilie,


You have a lot of serious issues facing you.   There are tools for communication and skills that will help to reduce conflict while you process these issues.

You should also visit the Legal board.   The senior members there can provide insight and support.

'ducks