Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
September 20, 2024, 07:59:52 PM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Books members most read
105
The High
Conflict Couple
Loving Someone with
Borderline Personality Disorder
Loving the
Self-Absorbed
Borderline Personality
Disorder Demystified
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
What I actually heard was, "I don't love you" (mom)
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: What I actually heard was, "I don't love you" (mom) (Read 359 times)
Lifewriter16
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: GF/BF only. We never lived together.
Posts: 1003
What I actually heard was, "I don't love you" (mom)
«
on:
May 08, 2015, 07:00:04 AM »
I remember, one night, when I was a child, perhaps aged 10 or 11, my Mum sat on my bed and said: "God loves you".
I can not remember why she decided to say that. I can only assume that I was upset about something. It may have been about my grandfather dying.
What I actually heard was, "I
don't
love you".
It was only when I was an adult and had done enough personal development work to be able to tell her that I loved her, that she was able to tell me that she loved me too.
I have carried a feeling that my mother didn't love me around all my life. And it hurts and makes me feel sad.
I'm supposed to pose a question, aren't I? Quite frankly, I don't know what to ask, I'm just grateful to have to opportunity to share this with you and have you witness it. Thank you for doing that.
Lifewriter
Logged
misuniadziubek
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Semi-long distance relationship living apart.
Posts: 383
Re: What I actually heard was, "I don't love you" (mom)
«
Reply #1 on:
May 09, 2015, 09:33:49 AM »
I'm glad you eventually hit a high point where you could tell her you loved her.
God loves you is pretty invalidating in a conversation that isn't about God but rather trying to comfort someone.
Kind of like, you shouldn't feel sad, not because I'm here, your mother, but because a magical man in the sky cares about you.
Except that she was kind of telling you that she loved you indirectly. Kind of like saying, you are worthy of love and you aren't alone.
Except that kids don't listen to parents in anticipation of a deep metaphor that they have to analyse. They hear what is being said and up to a certain age accept it without judgment.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
What I actually heard was, "I don't love you" (mom)
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...