escalation of bad mood over days

[lolli]

This is something that I've noticed has happened a number times with Luke, the possibly BPD person in my life.  What ultimately ends in a big scene actually seems to have been foreshadowed by irritability several days before.

For example, earlier in the week, Luke seemed like he was in a certain mood he gets into from time to time.  Usually I would describe this mood as irritable.  We went out to eat, and during the conversation I made a few humorous comments in response to some jokes he made--a pretty typical conversation as far as I thought.  But Luke seemed to overreact to what I was saying.  Like, I made a light humorous comment, he felt like I was really heckling him.  As though he saw the conversation as an exaggeration of what it actually was.  He asked me if I wanted to go see a certain movie that was playing only on Friday (we had discussed this before, we had been debating on whether or not to go).  I said, I don't know, what do you want to do?  He shook his head and said, you always do this, you always throw it back onto me.  He sounded irritated (although not angry, as though he were dealing with someone who was difficult and he was more exasperated than mad). Basically he overreacted to a number of things.  So we left it that we would talk about it Thursday night.  Thursday day he dropped by, I gave him a dinner I had cooked to take home, he went on and on about how I should pay the kid who cuts my lawn more money and he said he would pay for the difference.  I told him that wasn't necessary.  He responded by saying, no, I'm your husband, you took a vow, you have to do what I say.  I was like, ?  He persisted, talking like he was joking around, well, aren't you going to marry me one day?  I said, jokingly, we'll see, I need to see the ring first.  Then he seemed to get angry, saying I don't really think of him as a romantic interest, have a nice day.  I wasn't even sure what had just happened, it all happened so fast, and i asked him why he was upset.  He responded with, does have a nice day sound upset to you?  it was distressing.  Thursday night came and went, we were texting but no discussion of the movie came up.  He broke off texting fairly early.  Friday I didn't call him and neither did I hear from him until 6:00 when he sends me a text saying "thanks for the call".  While he might have meant this as a "friendly" reminder, I felt like it was a complaint.  When he said I never told about whether or not i wanted to see the movie, I answered that he stopped texting me the night before (when we were supposed to talk about it) and I didn't hear from him all day.  What I was really saying was, don't complain that i didn't call you, you could have called me too you know. Then, after suddenly saying that it was all his fault, which I couldn't tell if it was sarcasm or not, later he calls me to say that he's not mad and he left me a phone message to that effect.  When i listen to the message, it's not that nice--he said things like, I was the one who was undecided (this is not really true--he said he didn't care either way but was leaving it up to me) and since he was waiting for my decision, I was the one who should have called, after all, we're not two-year-olds, and really just making me feel belittled.  Later when I said that the message really didn't sound like he was saying he wasn't mad, he got mad and it evolved into a huge HUGE fight.  Later he called and said he was sorry, but he couldn't absorb that I was upset about the phone message.  The next day (last night) I get the cold shoulder for an hour and a half because I had a headache and might not want to get together, followed by aloofness and complete insensitivity and irritability in response to anything I said--until I agreed to do something he wanted today.

This has happened before.  Irritability first, then difficulty seeing things accurately, then anger and lack of empathy.  Then a few weeks later, it's the same thing, almost like it's some kind of biological cycle.  Has anyone else had this experience?