Please, please hang in there everyone... it gets so much better.

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Hi all,

It's been 4.5 months since my last post and it's now been almost 8.5 months since my breakup. I cannot believe I'm the same person who used to sit at my computer writing those posts... .feeling broken and often in tears.

Even now when I visit this site for the first time in months, I'm reminded of the feelings I used to have, I'm reminded of how many people out there are currently going through the kind of hurt I went through (and often far worse than me). It really saddens me... .it's a hurt I wouldn't want to wish upon anyone.

I just wanted to say to everyone who is really struggling at the moment, to please hang in there... .push forward day by day, work on yourself, find out what makes you happy and most of all believe in finding true happiness. I'm by no means where I want to be (I'm also yet to be in another relationship), but I've met incredible new people in my life who've reminded me of who I really am, I've discovered more of myself and what makes me happy. Initially I was in such a rush to meet someone else to fill that void, but now I spend a lot of time alone, and I absolutely love it.

Honestly, words cannot describe how I feel when I think back to the relationship with my ex... .it terrifies the living s**t out of me to think of ever going back into a situation like that again - and to think I recycled so many times thinking there would be nothing better in my life! Unfortunately, to this day I've still had to have brief contact with her... .but she cannot touch me anymore, I've moved so far beyond it that she will never again hurt me like she did. I'm stronger than I ever was.

Nothing I say here can take the pain away from what many are going through now... .it is what it is, a lonely journey of confusion and pain. But what I can promise you is that with the right attitude and by just pushing forward (always!) you will come through for the better.

Thanks to every single person on these forums who helped me when I was feeling broken and at my lowest. I appreciate it so much.

All the best.

[GoodThingsToCome]

Hi all,

It's been 4.5 months since my last post and it's now been almost 8.5 months since my breakup. I cannot believe I'm the same person who used to sit at my computer writing those posts... .feeling broken and often in tears.

Even now when I visit this site for the first time in months, I'm reminded of the feelings I used to have, I'm reminded of how many people out there are currently going through the kind of hurt I went through (and often far worse than me). It really saddens me... .it's a hurt I wouldn't want to wish upon anyone.

I just wanted to say to everyone who is really struggling at the moment, to please hang in there... .push forward day by day, work on yourself, find out what makes you happy and most of all believe in finding true happiness. I'm by no means where I want to be (I'm also yet to be in another relationship), but I've met incredible new people in my life who've reminded me of who I really am, I've discovered more of myself and what makes me happy. Initially I was in such a rush to meet someone else to fill that void, but now I spend a lot of time alone, and I absolutely love it.

Honestly, words cannot describe how I feel when I think back to the relationship with my ex... .it terrifies the living s**t out of me to think of ever going back into a situation like that again - and to think I recycled so many times thinking there would be nothing better in my life! Unfortunately, to this day I've still had to have brief contact with her... .but she cannot touch me anymore, I've moved so far beyond it that she will never again hurt me like she did. I'm stronger than I ever was.

Nothing I say here can take the pain away from what many are going through now... .it is what it is, a lonely journey of confusion and pain. But what I can promise you is that with the right attitude and by just pushing forward (always!) you will come through for the better.

Thanks to every single person on these forums who helped me when I was feeling broken and at my lowest. I appreciate it so much.

All the best.

[Irish Pride]

Hi all,

It's been 4.5 months since my last post and it's now been almost 8.5 months since my breakup. I cannot believe I'm the same person who used to sit at my computer writing those posts... .feeling broken and often in tears.

Even now when I visit this site for the first time in months, I'm reminded of the feelings I used to have, I'm reminded of how many people out there are currently going through the kind of hurt I went through (and often far worse than me). It really saddens me... .it's a hurt I wouldn't want to wish upon anyone.

I just wanted to say to everyone who is really struggling at the moment, to please hang in there... .push forward day by day, work on yourself, find out what makes you happy and most of all believe in finding true happiness. I'm by no means where I want to be (I'm also yet to be in another relationship), but I've met incredible new people in my life who've reminded me of who I really am, I've discovered more of myself and what makes me happy. Initially I was in such a rush to meet someone else to fill that void, but now I spend a lot of time alone, and I absolutely love it.

Honestly, words cannot describe how I feel when I think back to the relationship with my ex... .it terrifies the living s**t out of me to think of ever going back into a situation like that again - and to think I recycled so many times thinking there would be nothing better in my life! Unfortunately, to this day I've still had to have brief contact with her... .but she cannot touch me anymore, I've moved so far beyond it that she will never again hurt me like she did. I'm stronger than I ever was.

Nothing I say here can take the pain away from what many are going through now... .it is what it is, a lonely journey of confusion and pain. But what I can promise you is that with the right attitude and by just pushing forward (always!) you will come through for the better.

Thanks to every single person on these forums who helped me when I was feeling broken and at my lowest. I appreciate it so much.

All the best.

Awesome, awesome, AWESOME post! Very inspirational and VERY happy for you. This should be stickied!

Thank you for this. Personally, it means a lot, especially today. Thank you!

All the best to you, GoodThings.

[Achaya]

Thanks for reaching back to offer some hope! I am so glad for you, as you reflect on your release from BPD relationship hell. I am one month post BU and I really appreciate hearing about your progress. Very encouraging!

[Trog]

It's a testament to your strength that you have come through this so well and are able to be so circumspect.

[Mel1968]

GoodThingsToCome- thank you so much!

A truly inspirational message, and one that is so timely for me today, wonderful.

Congratulations on your new life, and many many good wishes for the future... .

Thank you again!

Mel

ps I think your name shows that you always knew... .Maybe all of us know really, somewhere very deep inside us? I do hope so... .

[friskey]

Excellent I so pleased for you and such a hearten post. All the best for your future.

[going places]

Your user name says it all!

Good things to come!

Even in despair, there was always that glimmer of light!

It is so good to see you come back and shine your light!

[Davef]

Lovely to hear

[gomez_addams]

Thanks.  I really needed to hear this.

I hope to be posting something similar in the near future.

Gomez

[emergent]

Thank you! 

[Lu Lu]

Thank you for posting this . You've just inspired me to keep going alone .

I find the confusion , pain , hurt and heartbreak so difficult .i begin to question myself and start believing what ex is saying in her angry rants .

I'm trying to cut off the last two means of contact but am scared .

I'm scared of the backlash once they see I've deleted and blocked their number , I will dread the email of abuse or suicide pleas .

Thank you so much for putting this on here and a big thankyiu to everyone who posts such relevant things !

i really hope I can be as brave and as strong as you have been !

❤️