Why vs How

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

"The quality of your life depends on the quality of the questions you ask."  Don't know who said this but they nailed it.  Below is a great example.

A friend told me about a book he read years ago about loss.  The author of the book said that after a loss, don't ask why;  instead ask how?  We'll never truly know "why."  Why someone died, why someone hurt us, why there was a terrible earthquake.  But we can ask and get answers to "how."  How can we help?  How can we recover?  How do we want our life to look now?  How do we make that happen?  How do we avoid the same mistakes?  How do we move forward and succeed?  How do we want our next relationship to work?

 Why is the question that leave us in pain.  How is the question that leads us forward.

So when we find ourselves stuck in why, let's try a different question:  let's ask how!

[ReclaimingMyLife]

"The quality of your life depends on the quality of the questions you ask."  Don't know who said this but they nailed it.  Below is a great example.

A friend told me about a book he read years ago about loss.  The author of the book said that after a loss, don't ask why;  instead ask how?  We'll never truly know "why."  Why someone died, why someone hurt us, why there was a terrible earthquake.  But we can ask and get answers to "how."  How can we help?  How can we recover?  How do we want our life to look now?  How do we make that happen?  How do we avoid the same mistakes?  How do we move forward and succeed?  How do we want our next relationship to work?

 Why is the question that leave us in pain.  How is the question that leads us forward.

So when we find ourselves stuck in why, let's try a different question:  let's ask how!

[Nextinline]

That is such a fantastic approach.

Asking why, as I have been doing in my situation, seems to embed such a feeling of sadness and negativity as you continually go over old ground and open old wounds.

Asking how seems to have a constructive feel to it as it makes you look forward to being in a better place in a better mood and with better thoughts.

By simply asking how, you can set yourself small goals that gives you a sense of focus and allows you to start on your new journey... .even if it is with just one small step.

Thank you for sharing this with us. I can see already how this would work for me to make things better.

Cheers

NiL

[jhkbuzz]

"The quality of your life depends on the quality of the questions you ask."  Don't know who said this but they nailed it.  Below is a great example.

A friend told me about a book he read years ago about loss.  The author of the book said that after a loss, don't ask why;  instead ask how?  We'll never truly know "why."  Why someone died, why someone hurt us, why there was a terrible earthquake.  But we can ask and get answers to "how."  How can we help?  How can we recover?  How do we want our life to look now?  How do we make that happen?  How do we avoid the same mistakes?  How do we move forward and succeed?  How do we want our next relationship to work?

 Why is the question that leave us in pain.  How is the question that leads us forward.

So when we find ourselves stuck in why, let's try a different question:  let's ask how!

That's phenomenal! 

I think that's going to stick with me for a long time!

[Everlong]

What a fabulous way to look at things! Thank you for sharing that.

"How did it happen?" and "How can I prevent this in the future?"

Yep, I like that.