Sometimes I look back on my BPD relationship and think of how I willingly allowed my self to be abused. I know nobody asked to be abused but, I am so angry with myself and my ex. Sometimes I wonder about his new relationship, and think what is the point of it? He is going to destroy you. He is like a tornado. I in a way through all of my pain and anger feel a sense of compassion for his new gf, because I know shes prob... .going through what I went through. Anyone else feel this way does it get better?
Even if I feel angriness only in some occasions (anyhow, the time is passing - almost 3 months of NC - and more and more I'm reaching the acceptance stage I think, I feel quite good now), I agree about the fact that we accepted simply unacceptable behaviours by our BPDexes, due to the fact we where basically performing the role of the white knight.
When I tell my story to a friend, or the first time I told the story to my psychologist, they all told me: how did you accept those unacceptable behaviours for such a long time (in my case, 1.5 years of rs... .incredibly frequent binge drinking, gas lighting, rage, ... .)?
How
could you think to build something
serious and stable with that person?
Anyway, I suppose that thinking about the ill dynamics of your past relationship really helps to heal, since you rationally realize that the person you were with had simply huge psychological problems.
