What now?

[Missp]

My daughter, in her early 20s has diagnosed BPDO (around 6 months ago).  A year ago, she was living me and we were struggling on with her depression/eating disorders.  She had a breakdown and now lives with an abusive ex partner of mine, who she considers to be a parent.

The difficulty is that this ex partner is being particularly poisonous about me (due to the fact she propositioned me about a year ago and I refused her).  I am trying to rebuild my relationship with my daughter but I know this ex of mine is being inflammatory. I have started following the validation guidelines to communicate with my daughter (to good effect - thank you so much).

Has anyone else here been in a similar situation? Any tips on navigating around this?

Thanks

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[JayApril]

I do not have BPD but, have been in your daughters shoes living with a emotionally and verbally abusive  BPD parent after having a falling out with my mom. My dad ran yet another smear campagin telling me all kinds of lies about her. All my mom did was ignor it. Eventually the truth will show, and your ex will run under a rock looking for the next person to believe her. I pray that your daughter is getting the help that she needs, and that you stay strong. It s hard to go through life when you have a disordered person throwing verbal stones at you.

[Missp]

Thank you JayApril.  Your reply got me thinking about the behaviour of my ex.  I think she too may have some personality disorder.