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Author Topic: How does your ex function in other areas of their lives?  (Read 1278 times)
sbr1050
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« on: June 13, 2015, 06:49:52 PM »

I;m just curious: How does your ex function in the other areas of their lives?
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ZeusRLX
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« Reply #1 on: June 13, 2015, 07:38:24 PM »

Mine could seem like they were functional but most of the time were not very functional in their professional lives and lacked direction.
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LimboFL
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« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2015, 08:08:27 PM »

Could not have said it better, Zeus. Masters of the illusion.

Not that any of us are perfect but the big difference is that my ex chastised me constantly for any flaw, whereas I was consistently supportive. When she made a mistake anywhere or wasn't doing so well at work, I would prop her up, make her feel strong, competent.

Not so when the shoe was on the other foot. I might get one minute of support then poof!

There is a difference between being cognizant of ones short comings and therefore humble and being arrogant while falling flat on your face.

My ex constantly thought she was smarter and better at everything than I was. Fortunately I was old enough not to really care except when the insults and mocking would come flying.
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mitchell16
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« Reply #3 on: June 13, 2015, 10:05:33 PM »

mine would seem to function well in short spurts. for months she would be on top of everything and then without warning I would find out she was going months without paying her bills, house payment and car payment and it didnt make sense because she would have all the money in the bank. same with her job she appeared that everything was going well, then I would find out it wasnt and she ultimately was terminated. of course I was the blame for all of it because of our on again off again relationship caused her so much stress that she couldnt function. Never mind that the relationship stress was caused by all of her actions. In my opinion, all those behaviors show a lack of accountability. She could function like a champ aslong as she wasnt accountable to anything or anyone.
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greenmonkey
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« Reply #4 on: June 14, 2015, 05:41:19 AM »

At work, seemingly ok, but throws tantrums when criticised and generally disliked by everyone

Unable to manage simple paperwork things, letters, and dealing with life generally.

Hygiene and general day to day living - unable to manage basic things like washing, cleaning, tidying up, shopping and cooking, prefers not to have to deal with it.

But then claimed to be the expert and font of all knowledge and highly critical of everyone else, and not taking any responsibility for anything and as long as she never had to admit her shortcomings, and apologise for her bad judgements she was ok.

uBPD Waif at its finest, helpless, hopeless and expected everything to be done for her, whilst treating everyone like something was picked up on the bottom of her shoe.
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SummerStorm
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« Reply #5 on: June 22, 2015, 04:48:32 PM »

Prior to me meeting her and working with her, she had gone through a few jobs, at a fast food place, at a restaurant, at a gas station, at a store.  Those are the ones I know about.  This was all before she had even turned 22.  I'm 29 and have had two jobs my entire life: one while I was in high school/college and the one I have now. 

During her student teaching stint, she suspiciously called off work the day after her birthday and didn't follow the proper protocol, so she got yelled at by the principal, her cooperating teacher, and her college supervisor.  During her first long-term sub position, she called off sick a few times, messed up an assignment for all of the classes, never called parents back, kept putting off fixing a grade for a student, and had to cut short her last day so she could catch a flight.  During her second long-term position, she again called off sick multiple times.  She also started smoking pot again during this time, and I'm pretty sure she came to work high or at least coming off a high. 

She never bothered to ask the principal to come observe her, so she never got a reference letter from her.  The only letter she has is from her cooperating teacher, and he wasn't impressed with her.  It also is pretty much invalid, since she has had two positions since her student teaching ended.  So basically, she went to college for four years and completely wasted her time because she will never get a teaching job. 

Her boyfriend keeps telling her to get a job because he is the only one paying the rent right now.

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So when will this end it goes on and on/Over and over and over again/Keep spinning around I know that it won't stop/Till I step down from this for good - Lifehouse "Sick Cycle Carousel"
zipline
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« Reply #6 on: June 22, 2015, 05:39:53 PM »

I don't know.  She has a PhD and is respected in her field and at her job. She is well-liked by her acquaintances and seems to make friends easily (especially with men -- go figure). She has a number of very close friends whom she considers her family in a way.  She's one of seven kids. Her relationship with her mother is strained and causes her anxiety. Her father died when she was 9. She is easily anguished by relationships and I think it takes a lot of her energy to keep them working.  Our relationship lasted 7 months. Her previous serious relationship (the last time she was "in love" she said) lasted 6 months and that was three years prior to us meeting. That relationship ended in some mysteriously disastrous way that hurt her badly but she would never get specific about.  In between there were some boyfriends that she didn't really talk about and I have no idea how long those lasted. I guess a few months each, as well.  She one told me that she's "had many lovers." I didn't follow up at the time, but I now wish I had.  

She's been in the US on a post-doc for the past two years.  In her first year she fell into a major depression around xmas and took a month off of work and went to Mexico (i think?) to recuperate. This year she got pregnant (by me) beginning of November, didn't go to work for a month and a half, then took two months off of work to spend back home. When she was home and we were apart she fell into another depression which lasted maybe two weeks? 

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fred6
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« Reply #7 on: June 22, 2015, 05:46:55 PM »

At work, seemingly ok, but throws tantrums when criticised and generally disliked by everyone

Unable to manage simple paperwork things, letters, and dealing with life generally.

Hygiene and general day to day living - unable to manage basic things like washing, cleaning, tidying up, shopping and cooking, prefers not to have to deal with it.

But then claimed to be the expert and font of all knowledge and highly critical of everyone else, and not taking any responsibility for anything and as long as she never had to admit her shortcomings, and apologise for her bad judgements she was ok.

uBPD Waif at its finest, helpless, hopeless and expected everything to be done for her, whilst treating everyone like something was picked up on the bottom of her shoe.

Hahaha, yep. Mine was pretty much all of that. I remember that she signed up for cable and internet on a 2 year special from Comcast. So after the 2 years was up her bill went from $95 a month to around $200 a month. She kept whining and moaning to me every month about her high bill. I told her, "just call them up and tell them that you want to cancel your service because it costs too much and they'll transfer you to the retentions department and probably cut you a deal". Her reply to me was always, "You do it, I'm not good at all that wheeling and dealing". I tried to explain the her that since we weren't married and I wasn't on the account, that they wouldn't talk to me about it. We went through this back and forth for about a year. Low and behold, during our break up they cut off all of the TV and internet because she was $700 past due. And guess who's fault it was that she couldn't or wouldn't pay her bill or renegotiate?
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disorderedsociety
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« Reply #8 on: June 22, 2015, 07:17:24 PM »

Mine pulls SSI benefits and won't even take care of her daughter. Pretty pathetic. But she'll shower excessively for whatever reason
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UserName69
AKA double_edge, Mr.Jason, Bradley101
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« Reply #9 on: June 22, 2015, 07:47:58 PM »

She's still looking for a job and she didn't found one. She just talks a lot, she's very loud and always talks about herself. She always want to be in the spot light of attention, doesn't matter in which area it is. That's one of the main reasons why her entire life will be a complete mess. It's also one of the reasons why no one likes her. She has only one good friend she's keeping him on a leash by manipulating him with all her lies.
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rotiroti
formerly neveragainthanks
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« Reply #10 on: June 23, 2015, 09:23:00 AM »

I don't know.  She has a PhD and is respected in her field and at her job. She is well-liked by her acquaintances and seems to make friends easily (especially with men -- go figure). She has a number of very close friends whom she considers her family in a way.  She's one of seven kids. Her relationship with her mother is strained and causes her anxiety. Her father died when she was 9. She is easily anguished by relationships and I think it takes a lot of her energy to keep them working.  Our relationship lasted 7 months. Her previous serious relationship (the last time she was "in love" she said) lasted 6 months and that was three years prior to us meeting. That relationship ended in some mysteriously disastrous way that hurt her badly but she would never get specific about.  In between there were some boyfriends that she didn't really talk about and I have no idea how long those lasted. I guess a few months each, as well.  She one told me that she's "had many lovers." I didn't follow up at the time, but I now wish I had.  

She's been in the US on a post-doc for the past two years.  In her first year she fell into a major depression around xmas and took a month off of work and went to Mexico (i think?) to recuperate. This year she got pregnant (by me) beginning of November, didn't go to work for a month and a half, then took two months off of work to spend back home. When she was home and we were apart she fell into another depression which lasted maybe two weeks? 

Oh man are you me? Mine lasted 7 months too and she was also a doctorate in the East Coast. Also admitted to me that she worked as a prostitute during undergrad (came up while she was blowing up about a past vacation where I booked a really nice hotel. how dare I bring up memories of her working days)
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