The Veneer of Perfection...

[FannyB]

My uBPDexgf mesmerised me instantly with her heavily made up eyes and flawless skin - she was indeed borderline perfect!    During the course of our relationship I only saw her without make-up on a couple of occasions, as this was the 'mask' she presented to the world.

Does anybody else think that the reason many borderlines appear so attractive is because they are trying to compensate for their inner 'ugliness' by being as superficially perfect as possible? It's sort of the opposite mentality to 'love me for who I am' - more like 'love me for what I look like and forget the rest'! 

[Sunfl0wer]

Sounds like persons with BPD have insecurities.  Insecurities lends a person to want to hid in some way.  Wearing makeup is one way of hiding.

[FannyB]

I think it also highlights the 'you can never love me enough' mentality that they exhibit. If she didn't project 'perfection' then maybe I wouldn't hang around. After a while, all I wanted was 'normal' - but you don't really get a normal phase in a BPD relationship. Simply not part of their cycle. 

[enlighten me]

No matter how much I told my exs they didnt need make up as they were natural beauties they never listened.  They couldnt leave the house without at least something on.

I guess I will be seeking a woman who is not bothered about make up and is comfortable in their own skin.

[once removed]

"Sounds like persons with BPD have insecurities.  Insecurities lends a person to want to hid in some way.  Wearing makeup is one way of hiding."

that about sums it up. of course, this phenomenon is not unique to BPD.

my uBPDex went without make up plenty.

i remember around a decade ago, i was really into the concept of "women shouldnt wear make up", and finding a girl that didnt, or finding a girl that did, and encouraging her not to. ultimately ive come to accept that this is a basic part of most womens hygiene, not an inherent insecurity; of course it may be a sign. i liked my ex with or without makeup. she didnt overdo it, and i thought she wore it well. i compare it to lots of things. a guy wearing gel in his hair. a couple or a person dressing up for a special occasion. tweezing ones eyebrows. most of the time its grooming/hygiene, not female insecurity.

that doesnt mean you have to be into makeup either. and if youre not, i think "I guess I will be seeking a woman who is not bothered about make up and is comfortable in their own skin." is a good attitude 

[Mister Brightside]

As short as many of their relationships are (fear of abandonment), and the fact that most of them need to be in a relationship as to avoid loneliness, that equals an abnormal number of relationships. In turn, that equals an above average number of honeymoon stages (idealization) where they are trying their best to appear perfect.

Like narcissists, the borderlines who rely on seduction to get their needs met are in for a shock when they get old and naturally lose their looks.

[FannyB]

In turn, that equals an above average number of honeymoon stages (idealization) where they are trying their best to appear perfect.

I lasted well over a year with my ex and she kept her 'warpaint' on through each phase of the BPD cycle. There was never a period where she settled down and let me see her 'natural self'. Make up was worn to bed - then re-applied in the bathroom each morning. 

[ZeusRLX]

Most of mine were obsessed with make up and clothes so yes, in my experience that's the case.

One was so nuts that she applied a different kind of creme every 2 hours, had this whole system to have perfect skin.