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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Got a room...  (Read 611 times)
gomez_addams
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Almost divorced
Posts: 284


« on: May 28, 2015, 03:31:33 PM »

Great news. Got a room to rent out for up to 6-8 weeks. Can't move in until Friday, but that means just one more night in a hotel.

Hopefully that will be enough time to get her to head back to her parents' place.

Gomez
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livednlearned
Retired Staff
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Family other
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 12865



« Reply #1 on: May 28, 2015, 05:30:43 PM »

That's great news -- I'm glad to hear! The distance will give you a nice buffer to process her actions/reactions, and filter your own so that you are bland, boring, beige in response to any provocations.
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Breathe.
gomez_addams
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Almost divorced
Posts: 284


« Reply #2 on: May 28, 2015, 05:45:10 PM »

... .bland, boring, beige in response to any provocations.

She hates that. But I'm going to really work on it.

Gomez
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Panda39
********
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Relationship status: SO and I have been together 9 years and have just moved in together this summer.
Posts: 3462



« Reply #3 on: May 28, 2015, 08:00:13 PM »

Glad to hear you have a place to stay  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)
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"Have you ever looked fear in the face and just said, I just don't care" -Pink
ReclaimingMyLife
*****
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 572


« Reply #4 on: May 28, 2015, 10:07:03 PM »

Awesome and congrats.   A serious step forward,  indeed!
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gomez_addams
****
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Almost divorced
Posts: 284


« Reply #5 on: May 29, 2015, 09:15:34 PM »

It all worked out. I have roughly 24 hours of nothing to do, except laundry, shower, sleep, and eat.

Meeting with the stbx and the parish priest tomorrow night.

Until then, going to focus on not trying to control the things out of my control. And I need some sleep.

Gomez
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